Fear
by niklovr
Summary: This is a JoVan fic so Jolie fans consider yourselves warned. A series of strange mishaps frighten Evangeline. John comes to the rescue, all to RJ's extreme displeasure.
1. Default Chapter

Part 1

Cool, collected attorney, Evangeline Williamson left the coffee shop anything but. The unexpected conversation with RJ Gannon left her shaken. Lately, the man unnerved her. His sudden appearances, like the one today, prompted her to accuse him on stalking. Of course, she didn't mean the harsh accusation, but still… He didn't own her and she didn't appreciate his assumption that he did.

She marched the short distance from the quaint diner to her office building in record time. All the while, her mind replayed the most recent current events of her life.

__

Detective John McBain.

Her entire body trembled at the mere thought of him. The explosive encounter in the basement was totally unplanned. Sure, they flirted. She always considered the interaction as innocent, a fun diversion between two attractive people who liked each other.

Boy, had she been dead wrong about that one.

__

Come on, Williamson, she silently chided herself as she waited in the lobby for the elevator. Like a moth to a dangerous, highly charged flame she'd been drawn to the handsome, stoic detective. And quite obviously, the appeal wasn't one sided. With a sexy little grin playing on his lips, she knew the attraction was indeed mutual.

The elevator arrived and she stepped inside. With her thoughts in turmoil, she thanked God she had the car alone. Personal conflict chipped away at the mask that hid her true persona from the world. And now, with succumbing to passion with John and RJ asking questions…the struggle within no doubt revealed itself on her face.

Upon returning to her office, she listened to her messages and set about working on cases. By the end of the day, she hadn't accomplished a damn thing. And only one thought took precedence, the overpowering need to talk to John.

She had to warn him about RJ.

/

"Thanks for meeting me," she said as John joined her at the University Law Library.

"You said it was urgent." He lifted his eyebrows in a quizzical frown. "What is it? You look as nervous as an alley cat."

She laughed despite the coil of tension that bound her insides. John's quirky, teasing sense of humor always had a way of making her relax. Who was she kidding? His voice, his presence had the same effect. Whether she liked it or not, he was under her skin.

"I…um…" She drew in a quick breath. "RJ asked me about you."

"About me?" His blue eyes lit up with something akin to pleasure. "What did he want to know about me?"

"Actually, he wanted to know about…us." She swallowed hard. "He flat out asked me if you and I were having an affair."

A smile matched the light in his eyes. "He did?" He leaned forward across the table and asked in a low voice, "What did you tell him?"

His reaction surprised her. She didn't know what she expected, but certainly not this macho thing of perverse pleasure. And why did his reaction intrigue her? She wrapped her trembling hands around the thick reference book she'd been reviewing for case law. "What do you think?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. You said you wanted us to be discreet and that you didn't want to hurt him--"

"I don't," she cut in. "That's the last thing I want to do."

"Well, what do you want me to do? If he comes to me…do you want me to deny it?"

Her jaw dropped. "We're not having an affair!" she exclaimed in an agitated whisper.

An unreadable expression claimed his face, effectively hiding his thoughts. He leaned back against his chair and looked around at the shelves of books that surrounded them. Then, a slight frown marred his brow and he sat up straight, his gaze searching.

She stiffened. "What is it?"

His silence increased her dread. Finally, he directed his attention to her. "Nothing. I thought I heard something." He scooted his chair close to hers. "Evangeline, I don't regret what happened the other night. Okay? But if you'd rather RJ or anyone doesn't know, I won't tell." He glanced at his watch. "It's getting late. Let me walk you to your car."

"That's okay. I'm parked at the garage. It's well-lit and campus security is pretty good."

He looked as if he wanted to protest. Then, he gave her a faint smile. "As long as you're sure."

"I am," she said, nodding. "I'll be fine. Thanks, though."

"No problem." He stood and moved behind her chair. As he walked by, he paused a moment to squeeze her shoulder. "No worries, okay. Everything will be fine. You and RJ will work things out."

__

What!

Before she could protest, he stormed away. She didn't know how long she sat at the table, staring after his retreating figure. Security doing a rounds check broke her from her reverie. The young guard's presence alerted her to her surroundings and the time.

She gathered her things and headed to the garage. Just as she told the detective, light flooded the parking area. Students milled around, offering a disconnected sense of safety. A few times, she thought she heard footsteps behind her.

__

It's just your imagination, girlfriend.

Yet, she picked up the pace. Her high heels clacked on the cement floor as she hurried to her car. The heavy footsteps seemed to quicken, too. Using her car alarm, she unlocked the doors from a short distance and quickly slid inside.

In a flurry of movement, she started the ignition and raced from the University. Home was like a carrot dangled in front of a running rabbit. By the time she pulled into the driveway, her heart was pounding a crazy, erratic beat. For a moment, ice cold fear claimed her body and soul. Evangeline didn't like that feeling one damn bit.

After the shaking stopped, she pushed herself from the car and went inside. That night, she made sure to double check the locks on all the windows and bolt the door.

Back Next


	2. Fear 02

Part 2

John left the University Law Library in a daze, or was it a small haze of jealousy? When Evangeline asked to meet, excitement coursed through him. Hell, just hearing her voice did that to him. Looking at her always brought a smile to his face. No matter how rotten the day had been or how lonely his life had become, Evangeline Williamson ignited a spark inside him that he'd considered dead and buried.

Although he hadn't said the words to her, the explosion in the basement had been inevitable. Some things couldn't be denied. Standing close to her, breathing her in…sooner or later, he knew in his gut, it wouldn't be enough. Especially after that surprise kiss she planted on him.

Damn.

He rubbed his fingers over his mouth, the taste of her just barely on the tip of his tongue. The familiar ache returned to his crotch. He adjusted his pants and forced his attention back to the road.

__

No worries, okay. Everything will be fine. You and RJ will work things out.

Where the hell had that come from? Working things out with the notorious Gannon was the last thing she needed. The man's background didn't fit with hers.

__

And yours does? A voice nagged him. John blinked. He rubbed a hand over his face as he waited at a stoplight. No, his past wasn't the best. He'd known his share of pain and disappointment. Losing his dad, Caitlin and now, Kathryn--

A sudden chill rippled through him.

Tonight, he could have sworn they were being watched. If he hadn't gotten his feelings hurt, he would have had sense enough to check things out. Just because one of the Santis' assassins was locked up didn't mean the danger was over.

__

Dammit, McBain!

He turned the flashers on just before he made a U-turn, heading back in the direction he'd come.

Returning to the University garage proved to be a waste of time. The area was virtually deserted and Evangeline was long gone. He should just go home and forget about it.

But the sensation of danger refused to quiet. Unease settled in the pit of his gut. Disturbing images of police tape outlining the shape of Evangeline's lifeless body flashed before his eyes. He wouldn't find a moment's peace until he saw for himself that she was okay.

/

He parked his car around the block from her place. Shadows and bushes cloaked his movements as he checked the perimeter. A late model black sedan sat idle at the corner. He squinted, but the street lamp wasn't bright enough for him to see the license tag. Just as he began to edge closer, movement near her garage caught his attention. Gun drawn, John rushed across the street.

He followed the sound around the house. By the time, he reached the backyard it was empty. A firing engine interrupted the deceivingly calm night. He ran to the front, but the idling car had vanished.

Shit!

/

"You don't know what it was?" A faint tremor colored her words. With shaking hands, she tightened her robe and cast a furtive glance out the curtains.

John's heart ached to see her usually calm demeanor disturbed. He longed to wrap his arms around her, promising to keep her safe. But the past spoke for itself. He couldn't keep Caitlin safe, vowing to do the same for Evangeline would only mock him.

"No, it might have been anything. A cat or a squirrel…" He gestured with his hands. "I'm sure it was nothing."

She turned away from the window and looked him dead in the eyes. "The look on your face when I let you in said it was a lot more than nothing."

He nodded. "I was…worried."

She lowered herself to the loveseat. Her hands clutched the armrests. "Yeah, well, so was I. I think someone followed me from the library to the garage."

"What!" Dread filled him. He moved to kneel in front of her. "Tell me everything. Why didn't you call me?"

Her mouth parted. Longing reflected in her luminous brown eyes. Then, a mask slowly slid into place, masking her need. She looked down at her hands, now clenched together tightly in her lap.

"I don't know. I thought I imagined it. Besides, I can't call you every time something goes bump in the night."

Without pausing to think, he reached out and covered her hands with his. "Evangeline, that's exactly when you should call me."

She trembled within his grasp, but she didn't pull away. A proud smile faltered at her lips. "I'm not some scared, trembling femme fatale. I know how to take care of myself."

He couldn't help but smile at the strong persona she presented. He squeezed her hands. "A tough broad, huh."

A surprise gasp of laughter escaped from her. "I guess. Yes, I am. I have to be, depending on someone else… Look, I don't want to sound ungrateful. I appreciate your coming here and checking on me. It means a lot."

He nodded. "Good," he said, as he stood. "Then, you won't mind that I'm staying over tonight."

Her eyes widened. She leapt to her feet. "John!"

"It's a police matter," he said, knowing full well that wasn't the whole truth, "and it's out of your hands. Besides, I won't take no for an answer."


	3. Fear 03

Part 3

RJ frowned as he listened to the voice on the other end. "Run that by me again."

"The cop," the voice said, "McBain is at her place right now. He almost made me. I got out of there before he could."

Fury almost choked RJ. "Go back and find out if he's still there."

"I swung by there not five minutes ago. I'm telling you he's there. His car is parked around the corner, but I know he's at her place. I won't risk going over again tonight. Do you still want me to go after her?"

"No," RJ bit out through clenched teeth. "I'll take care of it."

"Suit yourself."

He released a biting, chilling laugh. "Don't worry. You'll be well compensated for your time."

An audible sigh of relief vibrated through the telephone. "Anytime you need anything, Gannon, just give me a call."

"No doubt."

RJ folded his cell phone and slipped it inside his pocket. _No affair, huh, Evangeline_.

Plans unfolded inside his mind. She'd regret the day she ever lied to him.

/

"I put an extra set of towels on the bathroom counter. There's a toothbrush, too."

John couldn't resist the urge to tease her. "You have overnight guests often."

"Wouldn't you love to know?" Evangeline countered. Sparkles lit up her eyes and she gave him that small laugh that he'd come to enjoy.

His expression sobered as he replayed her words. "I would like to know."

Humor left her. Something intense flared between them. She brushed hair from her eyes, avoiding his gaze. "Are you sure you don't want a comforter or a quilt? The A/C has a mind of its own and the temperature drops at night."

Swift change of topic. He nodded to himself. He fully understood and appreciated evasive tactics. How many times had he employed the same maneuver? Too many to count. He allowed her that and finished converting the sofa into a bed.

"The sheet's enough." He gave her a faint smile while he relished the sight of her without make-up, looking fresh and beautiful. "Thanks."

Her gaze circled the room before locking on him. "You won't sleep at all tonight, will you?"

"Probably not."

"I'm sorry. You've been working day and night on the Santi case, and now this. I'm sure this stakeout is all a waste."

"Why would you say that?" He checked his weapon again and made sure his extra bullets were close at hand. "There's no shame in being frightened, Evangeline. Don't try to pretend you weren't shaken up tonight. From what I saw, you had every right to be."

She shook her head. "You don't understand. I think I know what happened…who followed me."

"Who?"

"RJ. He's seen us together and he's asking questions," she explained. She sat on the coffee table in front of him. Her clean scent washed over him, making him dizzy with wanting her. She continued, oblivious to her effect on him. "I wouldn't put it past him to follow me tonight. He's done it before."

"What?" Every muscle in his body tensed. "Details. Now."

"Well, the other day, he came from out of nowhere complaining that I never return his calls. Completely untrue, but he was upset." She leaned forward. Her face just inches from his. "I accused him of stalking. He didn't take it well and the conversation ended. Now, he's questioning me about you. About us."

"Definitely not a coincidence." Without his permission, his gaze dropped to the opening of her robe. The gaping v-shape provided enough of a view to tantalize his male senses. Shadows hinted at the rounded fullness of her breasts. The top of her nightgown looked like silk. Lucky fabric.

She sat back slightly, her head tilting to the side. "John?"

He raised his eyes to hers, determined not to be enslaved by a guilty conscience. He wanted her. There was no way in hell he'd apologize for it.

"Yeah?" He moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue. His chest constricted as he noticed her watching the movement.

__

Bad timing.

He couldn't protect her while making love to her. Whether or not RJ was the culprit, John needed to give us full attention to the matter at hand. He couldn't do that with her looking as eager to explode again with him as he was with her.

He stood and went to the window. "You can go to sleep. You'll be safe tonight. In the morning, I'll have a talk with RJ."

"Okay." Disappointment colored her voice. She rose and headed toward her bedroom. "Goodnight, John."

"Pleasant dreams, Evangeline."

In silence he realized that if he slept, he'd only dream of her.

And what dreams would those be.


	4. Fear 04

Part 4

Sheets lay in a heap at the foot of the bed. A blast of cold air rushed from the overhead vent. Evangeline didn't so much as shiver. She was blazing hot. A fever burned and its center kindled right at the apex of her thighs. With a low moan, she rolled into a fetal position, clutching a pillow between her legs. She stared at the bright red digital display of her clock. The damn thing mocked her. Reminding her that she was a first class failure.

Sleep wouldn't come. _Wise up, girl and admit it_. There was no way she could drift off with John in the next room, playing sentinel. Doing what he did best. Protecting. Her.

Give up, a persistent voice urged. She was no quitter, but this time, she listened.

The closed bedroom door beckoned. She had no business even thinking about go out there. John had the stakeout under control. He certainly didn't need her, a novice, underfoot and in the way. What could she possibly offer him?

Now, that thought pissed her off! She tossed the pillow across the room and sat up. She had a helluva lot to offer. They enjoyed each other's company. She told him things she'd never told a living soul. No one knew what drove her. No one except John McBain. And he relayed a few admissions of his own. He confessed things she'd suspected, and he did so willingly. Like he'd been waiting just for the right moment to reveal himself to her.

What transpired later was no accident. The long looks and teasing banter was a thin barrier of what really lay between them. The confessions and the wine ripped a large hole in their self-induced boundaries. From the moment their pinkies touched, she felt as if a match had been struck inside her. Then when he laid that kiss on her--_Have mercy!_ Together, they created their own nuclear explosion.

Come to think of it, they had a lot to offer each other.

So, why hide in her bedroom like a scared little schoolgirl? She stood, ignored the robe hanging over the back of the chair, and left the room.

/

One softly lit lamp cast a dim glow over the scene. The sofa bed was in disarray. The sheets and pillow looked as if they'd been in battle. The obvious culprit stood facing the window. One hand rested on his hip while the other braced against the wall. John reminded Evangeline of a statue. A godlike statue who forfeited his own needs while he protected the world from evil. She wondered what she'd ever done to deserve such a heroic man in her midst.

Her thoughts turned from the inside of the man to the out. God, he exuded a magnetic appeal. Those wary blue eyes pulled her in every time. The delicious curl of his mouth as he fought the urge to smile made her stomach somersault. After that first daring kiss, she was desperate to taste him again. Thank God, John put her out of her misery. But now, she roamed her home in the middle of the night like a junky looking for a fix. And there he was.

Suddenly, he stiffened. As if in slow motion, his body shifted. She no longer stared at the broad expanse of his back covered in a white tank top. She now feasted on the hard planes of his muscular chest. The t-shirt teased her, making her hands itch to rip it from him.

"Evangeline," he said in a husky murmur. "Can't sleep?"

She tossed her head as she moved into the room. "Not one wink. What about you?"

"Believe it or not, I tried. It didn't happen so I gave up." He laughed. "Look at us. A couple of quitters."

"I won't tell if you won't."

He tilted his head to the side and extended his hand toward her. "Pinky swear?"

Her breath caught in her throat. For a split second, her heart stopped. It just flat lined. Then in a sudden rush, adrenaline pounced on her. She crossed the floor in record speed. Her hand grasped his. He pulled her hard and fast against him. Her pulse skyrocketed. She lost her balance. He wrapped his other arm around her.

"We're playing with fire," he said. His gaze traveled from her heaving chest to her mouth before settling on her eyes.

"Stop talking and put the flames out."

She heard his quick intake of breath a split second before he took possession of her mouth. Everything came crashing down in that moment. Evangeline lost control, giving herself fully to him. She claimed as much of him as he demanded of her.

With a twist and a turn, they landed on the makeshift bed. John took the brunt of the fall and she lay on top of him. His hands caressed her sides and traveled the curve of her backside. The heat of his touch burned through the flimsy negligee, singing her flesh.

"What is this?" he growled. He took a fistful of her nightgown. "What is it made out of?"

Too distracted by his hard biceps, she took her time answering. "I think it's silk." She slipped her hand under the hem of his shirt. Her nails skimmed his torso as she pulled the cotton up and over his head. Open mouth, she pressed her mouth to his chest. Her tongue traced circles around his hard male nipples. He groaned.

"Why did you ask?" She paused in her oral exploration to stare into his smoldering eyes.

His nostrils flared and his face flushed. Faster than she could blink, he pulled the gown off and threw it across the room. "I've never been jealous of silk before."

"Well, I'm not feeling too good about cotton either or denim for that matter." She loosened his belt buckle and worked on removing his jeans.

"Geez," he rumbled, "would you hurry up?" He tore off his pants and boxer briefs. Her panties soon followed.

"Good job, detective."

He emitted a husky, all-knowing chuckle. "When I'm conducting an investigation, I give one hundred percent."

"An investigation? What are you investigating?"

He rolled them so that he hovered above her. Burying his face between her swelling breasts, he brushed his stubble-covered jaw against each hardened peak. "If what happened in the basement was a fluke."

"You wondered?" _Oh, dear!_ His mouth and tongue were a lethal combination, sucking, licking and chewing.

He kneed her thighs apart. As he moved into position, he said, "I didn't wonder. I just wanted to investigate."

Then, with one thrust, he drove deep inside. Conversation was put on hold as their mutual passion enslaved them.

[Special Note: This is fiction. In real life, always remember to practice safe sex.]


	5. Fear 05

Part 5

__

Sated.

John slowly awakened to the feeling of complete satisfaction. He also felt a nice warm body draped seductively over him. His fingers flexed. Ooh, a round, firm behind. Silky, soft hair covered his chest, caressing him with his every breath. Careful, so as not to wake her, he shifted onto his side.

Watching her sleep realized every fantasy he had about Evangeline. She was so beautiful. Her flesh, flawless and smooth, reminded him of café mocha. Her personality was similar to the drink, too. Warm, sweet and surprising. Her walls disappeared in slumber. Despite the jaded profession of the law, this lawyer radiated pure innocence, as she lay there unaware of his scrutiny. John focused on every nuance, every sigh. He memorized her. Because despite his bravado the night before, he wasn't bold enough to believe that this was more than a fluke.

He extricated himself from her and stood. Bright yellow rays of light filtered through the break in the curtains. He frowned, wondering about the time. How long had they slept?

A glance at his watch told him they _over_slept. Hell, that was an understatement. Noon. Shit. He grabbed his jacket and shook out his cellphone. Last night, he put it on vibrate so as not to disturb her. Today, he had a shit load of messages to pilfer through. Many of them were from the Commander. John rubbed a hand over his face and groaned.

The slight noise proved to be enough to awaken sleeping beauty.

Like a voyeur, he silently watched her yawn and stretch. Then, a puzzled frown creased her brow. She looked around. When her eyes connected with his, her mouth parted and she covered herself with the sheet.

"John."

"Good morning," he said in a hoarse voice. "Or should I say, good afternoon."

Her eyes widened. "It can't be that late!"

"It can." He nodded. "It is."

"I'm late for a meeting," she stammered as she stumbled to her feet. "You're late for work."

"I am."

"Can you say more than two words?" She looked around the room as if she didn't know where she was. "Geez!"

"You're upset," he said, grabbing his pants and boxers from the floor. "It's understandable."

"Oh, yeah?" She hoisted the sheet around her toga-style and moved to stand inches from his face. "Do you realize we failed to use protection? Again!"

"I--I…" He ran a hand over his face. Shit! How could he have been so stupid? "Evangeline, I didn't think. I should have. No wonder you're mad at me."

"Mad at you?" She released a short laugh. Her hair brushed her cheeks as she shook her head. "I'm not mad at _you_. I can't believe I was such a moron. I swear in all my life I've never been so irresponsible. Believe me, John, I did not plan this."

He smiled to put her at ease. Himself, too. "I know you didn't."

Grudgingly, she returned his smile. "How can you…? How can you smile at a time like this?"

"Maybe it's not as bad as it seems and maybe I like seeing you shaken up."

Her eyes narrowed. "You should be a little shaken, too."

"I am, but losing it won't change what happened." He cupped his hand against her cheek. Her skin was so hot, so soft. "We lost control. Again. That's shaking me more than not protecting you."

"I'm a grown woman who's well versed in contraceptives." Shadows crossed her face. She looked down at the floor. "I should have protected both of us. And then, the way I responded…without thinking. Wow, what you must think of me."

"I think you're beautiful." He lowered his hand to her shoulder and squeezed.

The fear and the self-recrimination faded from her eyes. She placed her hand over his.

Silence lingered. John searched his mind for something to say, but no words seemed to fit. Besides, the quiet felt right.

"I'd better get ready for my meeting and then, I have to talk to RJ."

"I'll have a few words with him," he said.

"I'd rather you didn't. He already has his suspicions… Maybe he's justified. I don't know. Let me see where his head is. Okay?"

He shrugged. "If that's how you want to play it, but if anything seems off, do not hesitate to let me know."

She saluted. "Yes, sir."

He laughed and she ducked out of the room.

Man, he could get used to her.


	6. Fear 06

Part 6

"I thought you canceled and forgot to tell me."

Evangeline claimed the empty seat and gestured for a cup of coffee. The heat of embarrassment scorched her from head to toe. She was thankful for her brown complexion, which hid the blush from her friend's observant gaze. "I'm sorry. I lost track of time."

"All morning?" Nora's eyebrow arched. "I tried your office and your cell. Nothing. I came close to calling Bo and have him send a squad car to your place."

"I'm glad you didn't." The knots in her stomach loosened somewhat. "In fact, I'm in your debt forever for not making that call."

"Why?" A wicked gleam of interest lit up Nora's entire face. She leaned across the table. In a conspiratorial whisper, she asked, "What was going on at your place?"

Blood began to pound in Evangeline's temples. Carlotta appeared with the coffee. Evangeline thanked her with a smile. As she added cream and sugar, she hoped Nora didn't notice her shaking hands. This was truly ridiculous. She was a grown woman, for goodness sakes! Yet, here she sat, trembling like the class brain who made it with the school's star quarterback.

"Evangeline?" Nora reached out and took her hand. "You're making me nervous. Tell me what's going on and tell me quickly."

"I don't know," she answered with complete honesty. "One day, I'm making decisions that make sense and following the path to my goals…"

"And today?" Her dear friend and professional adversary regarded her with compassion. "I've never seen you this shaken up. I hate to resort to clichés but a man is involved, right?"

Evangeline's shoulders slumped as she leaned forward. "How did you know? Am I that obvious?"

Nora laughed. "No. I've been there and I know the signs. I won't pry, but if you want to talk…"

"Boy, do I." Her chuckle released nervous tension. "I'm in desperate need of counsel and I think you're the perfect person to advise."

"Go ahead." Nora took a sip of coffee and sat back. "I'm all ears."

For the next half hour, Evangeline recounted the most recent events of her life, making sure to gloss over the finer details. Nora mostly listened and only interrupted for clarification. As her confession reached its conclusion, Evangeline shook her head in dismay. "Well?"

"Wow."

Evangeline released a loud sigh and looked away.

"No, don't take that the wrong way," Nora said. "You're stuck between a rock and a hard place. And with RJ stalking you…"

"I don't know that's true. I haven't spoken to him. It could be just a coincidence."

Nora gave her a tight smile. "I've learned that when it comes to my former brother-in-law there's no such thing as coincidence."

"And which former brother-in-law would that be?" RJ stood behind Nora and moved to stand closer to Evangeline. "Good afternoon, ladies."

"RJ." Awkwardly, she cleared her throat. "I didn't see you enter."

"You and Nora looked thick as thieves when I came in. I decided to pick up my order before interrupting an obviously deep conversation between two distinguished attorneys."

Nora rolled her eyes. "It's too early in the day for all of that."

He laughed. "Not if it's true."

Evangeline watched the repartee between the former in-laws with a distracted mind. She needed to talk to him. Maybe this was the perfect time. Her father taught her that putting aside unpleasant things never strengthened their appeal. She might as well get it over with right now.

"Nora, would you mind?" She cut in. "RJ and I need to talk."

Nora placed several bills on the table then she stood. "Call me later."

After she left, RJ took her empty seat. "This is a first."

"What is?"

"You and Nora spending time at the Angel Square Diner. Usually, this is your hangout with John McBain. What happened? He couldn't make it and Nora played substitute?"

"He's not a part of this discussion," she said in as even a tone as she could manage. She wished he hadn't mentioned John. The discord wasn't _about_ John, but the fact that she and RJ weren't right for each other. If they had truly been meant for the long haul, their relationship would have overpowered her attraction to the detective. Pure and simple.

"My, how defensive you are of him." A muscle quivered at his jaw. "Enough about McBain. Why are _we_ talking? I believe you said or rather didn't say everything I needed to know the other day. What more do you want from me?"

"Just the truth." She gathered courage from the depths of her soul. "Did you follow me last night?"

"What?" Outrage vibrated from him. "Have you lost your mind? If your detective--"

"Leave him out of it," she said in a dangerously low voice. "You must admit that you have a habit of just showing up wherever I am. You did it last week and now, today, too."

"You should tighten the reins on that ego of yours," he replied. "I can order takeout wherever I want."

She refused to be sidetracked. "Last night, did you follow me? That's all I want to know."

"No, Evangeline, I did not follow you." He abruptly stood. Leaning close so that only she could hear, he added, "Sloppy seconds were never my style."

Only after he left did she allow tears of humiliation to sting her eyes.


	7. Fear 07

Part 7

Work beat down on John as soon as he walked into the precinct. He gladly welcomed the distraction. The familiarity of the job brought comfort and forced him to push his growing feelings for Evangeline to the back of his mind.

During a short break of the insanity, he lingered at the coffeepot. Since he missed breakfast, he took the steaming brew with cream. The extra dose of dairy spiked his blood sugar enough to get him through the day.

"John?"

He stopped in his tracks. "Natalie."

"Can we talk?" She brushed a strand of flaming red hair from her face. "Or is this a bad time?"

"No, it's fine." He jutted his chin toward the hall. "Let's take a walk. It's nice out today."

They headed outdoors in silence. A warm sun and cloudless sky greeted them. Nearby, birds chirped, and kids enjoyed the summer day. John glanced at the woman-child beside him. Turmoil brewed inside her. He just then realized what had drawn him to her in the first place.

Their mutual sorrow created a powerful, yet very sad bond between them. He flashed to conversations with Evangeline, the teasing fun they shared. Smiling became second nature in her presence. He almost felt free with her. He was reminded of the man that he used to be before all the tragedies.

One glance at Natalie he knew the freedom they both needed would never be found together. He tilted his head to the side and read the expressions on her face. He wondered if she'd come to that realization, too.

"I haven't heard from you lately," she said as they sat on a bench. "Are you avoiding me?"

He frowned. "No. I've been working. The cases have been pretty hectic lately."

"Are you sure that's all?" She returned his stare.

"I don't know what you're getting at," he answered honestly.

"This," she said, gesturing between them, "is all wrong. We're running around in circles and wasting our time. Aren't we?"

A bright orange Frisbee landed at his feet. He picked the toy up and sailed it back across the park to the waiting teenagers. They waved their thanks and continued to bask in the day.

During the interruption, he considered her question and searched his mind for the right response. Their relationship was never official, but he cared about her. The last thing he wanted was to cause her pain in any way.

"Never mind." She quickly stood. "Don't answer. It doesn't matter anyway. You know that Paul and I are…close friends. Actually, we're more than that--"

"Natalie." He rose from the bench. "You don't have to say anything else. I want you to be happy. I'm not sure about Cramer, but if you care about him, who knows? I could be wrong."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "So, that's it? That's all you have to say?"

"There's nothing else to say. You know that as much as I do." He paused while he collected his thoughts. "We would never have worked as a couple. We're at two different places in our lives. I didn't see that before. I see it now."

"Fine." She turned a vivid scarlet. "If that's the way you want it."

He answered with his whole heart. "Yes." He touched her arm. "I hope we can maintain our friendship."

"I won't make any promises." She stepped back. "Goodbye, John."

"Goodbye, Natalie."

Relief swept through him like a tidal wave.


	8. Fear 08

Part 8

Evangeline tried to leave the office at a decent time, but her late start made it impossible. She plopped her chin in the palm of her hand. Who was she kidding? The late start had absolutely nothing to do with her lack of concentration. The passionate repeat in John's arms followed by the vicious confrontation with RJ rendered her a mass of confusion. She couldn't think about one event without getting a flash of the other.

What happened to the woman who had her life together?

A knock sounded loudly at her door. Startled, she jumped a foot. Her gaze cut to her watch. A little after seven. Had most of the office left already? Was she alone?

Damn! She hated the fear that rose to her heart. With her fingers poised over the telephone keypad at 9-1-1, she called out, "Who is it?"

"It's me." The door cracked open. John suddenly filled the doorway. "Are you okay?"

She leaned away from the phone and forced herself to relax. "I've had better days. What are you doing here?"

"To see if you're ready to go."

"You're not spending the night," she blurted the first thought that came to mind.

He laughed softly. "Okay. If you're that serious about it--"

"I'm sorry." She pushed from her chair and came around the desk to stand just inches from him. "That came out wrong. It's just… Of all the days I've had in my life, this wasn't one of my good ones. I apologize for taking it out on you."

He remained silent for a moment. Then he folded his arms across his chest. "You spoke to RJ. What did he say? You should have come by the PD to file a complaint for a restraining order."

"No, it's not him."

"You asked him and that's what he said." He tilted his head to the side and gave her a long look. "He pled innocent and you believed him."

__

Geez!

She threw her hands in the air and began to pace her office. "He's upset about the way our relationship ended, but when I asked him if he followed me last night, he said no. He looked me straight in the eyes and what I saw there was honesty. So, yes, I believe him."

He nodded. "Okay. Fine. Are you ready to go?"

"I might as well be. I'm not getting anything done here." She sighed and purposely avoided his intense stare. "Just let me get my things."

As she joined him at the door with her briefcase and purse in hand, she said, "I drove my car. I'd rather not leave it here."

"You'll drive mine." He handed her the keys. "And I'll follow you in yours. The windows are tinted enough in both cars to fool anyone who's watching."

/

Evangeline tried hard not to enjoy the sensation of safety she felt inside John's car. It was silly, really, and bordered on teenage giddiness the pure pleasure she experienced during the drive over. Usually, she hated to drive someone else's car. Moving the mirrors…adjusting the seat…all of that was too much of a chore. Her car was set to her specifications right down to her favorite radio stations just a touch away.

But riding in John's car…

Despite his few minor quirks, he was truly a gentleman. He made everything perfect for her and she didn't mind the moments when his body was just inches from hers. In fact, lightning rods of pleasure zipped through her. She held a breath, hoping he didn't notice. To his credit, if he was aware of his affect on her, he kept it to himself. But given his nature, she wondered just how long that solicitous gesture would last.

He pulled into her two-car garage first while she waited at the curb. Per his instructions, she had the all clear if he blinked the lights twice. If he didn't, she was under orders to drive to LPD without waiting for him. She agreed because of the determined glint in his blue eyes, but behind her back, she crossed her fingers. Leaving John in danger because of her was not an option. If the need arose, she'd dial 9-1-1 and wait until they arrived.

A tense ten-minutes later, the lights on her car blinked a couple of times. She started his car and pulled in beside her treasured ride. The door leading to her kitchen was already open and the sexy detective stood in the doorway. She paused for a moment to enjoy the view. God, he went beyond all her wildest dreams. They clicked on so many levels. Was wanting more than a couple of wild romps too much to ask?

He used her remote to lower the garage door. After they were safely hidden, he met her as she came around his car. "How was the ride?"

"Nice. I've always wanted a Mustang. All that power!"

His fingers brushed hers as they exchanged keys. A flash of color heightened his cheeks. A smile played at his mouth. "I noticed you resisted the need for speed."

"It was a very strong temptation, I must admit." They moved inside the house. As he locked the door, she said, "How fast have you taken her?"

A full-blown grin claimed him. "Fast enough. Wow. I never would have figured you for the Speed Racer type. Interesting."

"You can't judge a book by its cover." She headed into the living room, pausing to leave her purse and briefcase on an overstuffed easy chair. "How many times must we go through this?"

"Obviously, more than once. I'm a slow learner."

That line could take her places. Places she actually wanted to go but knew better than to venture again. So, she followed her gut instinct and changed the subject.

"So, what's the word for tonight?" She chewed her bottom lip as her bravado faltered. "Were we followed?"

"I didn't see anyone."

She released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "And the house?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Everything looks pretty much the way…the way we left it this morning."

__

Oh, boy. That brought several memories back in a rapid rush. The need. Their lovemaking. His arms around her as she fell asleep. The lack of protection.

She groaned. Talk about stupid. Her father wouldn't be proud of that lack of restraint. _Oh, Daddy, I don't understand why my common sense is slipping._

"We should talk about last night," he said quietly. "Look, I know you blame yourself because we didn't use protection, but the truth is, you shouldn't. I was right here with you. I could have stopped us."

She grew still, her entire body a mass of pins and needles. "Why didn't you?"

"I didn't think about it. Losing my head like that is inexcusable. Both times."

"Yeah, but the first time we blamed alcohol." She released a short laugh. "What's our excuse this time? Sleep deprivation?"

He placed his hands on his hips and shook his head. "I think we're all out of excuses."

"What does that mean?"

"I…I don't know."

She laughed again. "Now, that's a cop out if ever I heard one."

"What?" He moved to stand not less than a foot from her. He towered over her, but fear was the last thing she felt. His voice lowered. "_What, Evangeline_?"

"This." She gestured at the lack of space separating them. "And do you notice I'm not backing away? What is all this, _John_?"

"Oh, that's easy," he said with a serious expression on his face. "You find me irresistible."

"How can you say that with a straight face?" She burst into giggles as she plopped onto her sofa.

John slid into place beside her. "Maybe because it's true."

"Oh, stop!"

"What?" he asked as she continued to laugh. A teasing light danced in his sapphire eyes. "You're denying that I'm irresistible?"

"As counsel for myself, I've advised not to answer a loaded question like that, Detective."

This time, he burst into laughter. "Oh, Evangeline."

"What?" The tone of his voice heightened her senses, the way he said her name _just so_.

"We're treading on dangerous ground here." He rubbed his face with both hands. "Are we prepared for the pitfalls?"

"I honestly don't know."


	9. Fear 09

Part 9

True to his word, John didn't spend the night. Instead, he ordered the night patrol to double their efforts in her neighborhood. If anything suspicious happened, they were to call him immediately.

He sat up half the night waiting for that call. Finally as dawn threatened to catch him waiting for its arrival, he drifted into a fitful slumber.

His ringing cell awakened him the next morning. He glanced at the clock. A little after seven. Which wasn't a late morning for most, but it was for him. He rubbed his eyes as he answered the call.

"McBain," he said in a voice hoarse from sleep.

"John?"

He jumped from the bed in one fluid movement. His nerves rattled with unease. "Evangeline? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She paused. Concern echoed in her voice. "Are _you_ okay? You don't sound good."

Her ability to read him amazed him. He smiled despite his personal demons. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Wow, two nights in a row," she said. "I'm sorry."

"No, I slept great with you--" He squeezed his eyes tightly shut. _Shit_. That came out horribly wrong. Using humor to mask his emotions was one thing, but blurting out his soul went against his deepest instincts. Yet, words spoken could never be returned. He swallowed his pride and said, "Um, Evangeline… The truth is… Well, that was the truth. So don't apologize. How are you? Did you sleep well?"

"Not really."

"Why?"

"Thinking too much I guess and wondering who followed me yesterday. Since it wasn't RJ, I'm lost as to suspects. Maybe I imagined it and if so, I do apologize for worrying you."

Was she nuts? Of course, her safety mattered to him!

"I don't understand how such a smart woman has a head loaded with bricks."

She gasped. "Are you saying I'm hardheaded?"

"You hit it with one shot." He moved to the closet and pulled out a pair of black jeans and a blue shirt and tossed them onto his unmade bed. "I didn't imagine someone in your yard or the coward racing off when I got too close. You didn't imagine anything. Look, don't leave your house. I'm picking you up. No arguments."

He hung up without giving her a chance to protest. Then, he showered, dressed and rushed across town to her place.

Evangeline greeted him with a blank expression. Without too many words passing between them, she joined him inside the Mustang. Her silence unnerved him, and her proximity set his soul on fire. What was he getting into and why was he in such a rush?

__

Slow it down, McBain. Relax. Take a deep breath.

He braked at a stoplight. Her body shifted and he turned his head. Their gazes locked. She gave him a faint, embarrassed smile.

"Thank you, John."

__

What? He certainly hadn't expected gratitude for his heavy-handed behavior. Was there a catch? She had throwing him off guard down to a science.

"For what?" he asked.

"For caring." She reached out and caressed his hand that gripped the steering wheel. "I was all set to lose it as soon as you walked through that door."

"What changed your mind?" The light changed to green. The Mustang coasted into the flow of traffic.

"A return of common sense."

"That's always a good thing," he said. Movement in the rearview mirror caught his eye. He turned onto a side street. Sure enough, the silver gray Lincoln Continental followed. This vehicle looked nothing like the black sedan parked on her street that night, but John wouldn't take anything for granted.

"Don't make it obvious, but could you check out that gray car behind us," he said. "Do you recognize it?"

She scooted low into the seat and looked through the sideview mirror. "It doesn't look familiar. How long has it been back there?"

"Since we turned onto Lord Lane." He grabbed the handset to the police radio. "This is McBain. I need info on a Lincoln, late seventies model. Here are the license plates."

Dispatch quickly responded with info. John glanced at Evangeline. She looked frightened and confused.

"I don't recognize that name." She tilted her head, looking through the mirror again. "And the car's still back there. I want to believe it's a coincidence. What will we do?"

"I'm taking you to PD," he said. "It's time to get serious about this."


	10. Fear 10

Part 10

"Use me as bait."

Since arriving at LPD, Evangeline listened as John barked orders and made decisions on behalf of her well being. She appreciated his tenacity. His tireless passion for her safety touched her heart. Yet, that didn't negate her independence. She hated the thought of being cooped up in a safehouse. Freedom meant the world to her. She refused to relinquish it when she could be just as active in protecting herself.

"Excuse me?" His voice hardened with barely restrained control. "I thought you said you wanted to put yourself in danger. But that couldn't be right. You're smarter than that."

"I'm smart enough to know that you won't catch him if I'm locked away in some tower."

John instructed his team of officers to leave. Then, he slammed the door shut. He stormed to stand just inches from her. His eyes blazed. A vein throbbed at his temple. "Mary Barnes is in a safehouse. You had no problem with that."

"The Santi family ordered a hit on her boyfriend. Carlos Rosa was following her! If you hadn't caught him… Look, John, she needed to be safe. My situation is completely different."

"We don't know the Santi family isn't behind this."

They stared at each other across a sudden ringing silence.

She drew in ragged breaths while she faced his burning glare. Finally, she asked, "What did the Lincoln driver have to say?"

"He's playing innocent."

"Playing?" She planted her hands on her hips. "Or is?"

"Don't go there with that criminal defense attorney crap, Evangeline," John countered. "He could be after you or he could know who is! There have been too many accidents and enough death. I won't let you do this."

"You don't have a choice."

"Oh, no?"

"What can you do? Arrest me?" She ran a hand through her hair. "Just listen to me. That's all I ask."

He brushed past her and perched on the edge of his desk. With his arms folded and looking anything but understanding, he dipped his head once. "Okay. I'm listening. Before you start, let me tell you…make it good. This has to be the best argument of your life."

Evangeline stared at him. Once again, he reminded her of an immovable statue. Determination reflected in his eyes and marked the firm set of his jaw. She'd never seen him fully enraged, but imagined his present stance wouldn't be too far off the mark. Treading carefully and presenting a strong case were the only way he'd agree to her suggestion.

One hand rested on her hip while she gestured with the other. "The facts: no one's broken into my home or accosted me in any way. Someone has followed me on two occasions--"

"To your home," he cut in.

She gave him a tight smile. "I was getting to that. Thank you. I was followed to my home and from my home. Maybe on the latter. So far, the culprit isn't talking and we cannot assume he was after me. There was nothing in his vehicle or on his person to say that he was. It's possible the whole thing was a mere coincidence."

John snorted "Yeah, right."

She paused to indulge in the joy of simply looking at him. He was one helluva attractive man. Regardless of mood, John McBain appealed to her on far too many levels to count. Too bad his stubbornness matched hers.

"Finally, we don't know who's following me or why. We won't get this information if I'm not out in the open. Please, John. I need to do this."

He leapt from his desk. His hands grasped her upper arms, pulling her close. His eyes searched hers, frowning and sad. "Why? What are you trying to prove? If this is about your father… I know he'd be proud of you. Don't become bait in order to live up to impossible standards."

"My father's standards aren't impossible." She placed her hands on his chest. The rapid pounding of his heart surprised her. Her idea truly shook him. She sighed. Causing him this much distress wasn't her intention. Subconsciously, she began to stroke him. He trembled. Her heart skipped a beat. "John…"

"Don't you understand?" he whispered "Agreeing to this goes against my best judgment."

"I know and that's why I'm asking you to provide back up." She paused, allowing him time to digest her words.

"There's only one way I can do that."

She didn't hesitate. "Fine."

"Wow, that was easy. Are you sure?"

She eased herself from his hold and retrieved her purse and case from a chair. "We're two mature adults. I'm sure we can handle you staying at my place for a few days. Can you have an officer drive me to my office?"

"No."

"I have to work!"

His sudden laughter eased the tension. "Of course, you do. I'll drive you myself."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

He opened the door and Evangeline walked through. Mere inches separated their bodies, but that wasn't enough for her to ignore the heat of him. She realized with full certainty the next few days would be the sweetest torture she'd ever known.


	11. Fear 11

Part 11

RJ called in a couple of favors. His old business associates had no objections. It was understood that a given courtesy beget another. Any time, day or night. Using a couple of his buddies' best men, he divided their efforts. Neither knew what the other was assigned. This protected RJ's identity, his end goal and left RJ with a spare should the need arise.

The word came through the grapevine that McBain busted the younger of RJ's two 'helpers'. Rolling in a 1979 Lincoln, the kid stood out like a sore thumb. It didn't come as a surprise that the detective would spot him. What surprised RJ was that McBain had installed himself as Evangeline's driver.

Yet, she refused to answer RJ's questions about her cop friend. _Yes, I'm screwing the pig. No, I'm not._ Either or. Admitting the truth should have been easy, especially when her actions spoke volumes.

Damn woman.

He locked his office door and pulled out his cell. "Yeah," he barked into the telephone. "What's her present location?"

"She's at her office. The cop dropped her off."

"McBain." RJ's stomach boiled just to say the name. In his mind's eye, he saw Evangeline on her back with her legs spread. McBain hovered above her, taking what once belonged to RJ. A series of curses rested on the tip of his tongue. He used a bare minimum of restraint to keep the words from coming out. "Is he there now?"

"No, but squad cars have been patrolling the block and the parking garage. An extra security detail has been added to the building. What do you want me to do?"

"Send her a gift. Leave the card blank."

"Will do."

"And, Lopez?"

The man didn't hesitate. "Yeah?"

"Don't play into the pig's hands."

Lopez chuckled. "Only kids do that."

/

"So, this is where John McBain resides."

John cocked an eyebrow. He didn't like her tone. Evangeline smiled as he fixed her with a playful glare. The newspapers were stacked by the door. The trash left with the morning crew. And only a light film of dust covered the furniture. His chest puffed out. "Yes, it is."

She held up her hands as she investigated his humble abode. "No need to get defensive."

He watched her disappear into the kitchenette. Resisting the urge to follow, he called out, "I'm not!"

Her laughter drifted toward him, stunning him with its pure beauty. He missed hearing a woman's laughter, and hers seemed to flow freely. Well, with him it did. He couldn't imagine Evangeline bursting into a fit of giggles with RJ. In fact, he couldn't imagine her with RJ Gannon. Period. Evangeline was too self-confident for a man like him.

But John liked confident women. He found them incredibly sexy. Evangeline, with her wit and sparkling personality, exuded sex appeal even with the walls she had around her. From the first, he tried to ignore her effect on him. Yet moments arose, when he couldn't help but test the limits. He lived for the shocked expression on her face and whatever comeback she threw his way.

Then, she planted that kiss on him.

He hadn't been kissed like that in a long time. For weeks, he played with the idea in the back of his mind. Maybe that's why he goaded her that night, interrogating her about bouts of spontaneity. A certain sparkle twinkled in her eyes. He should have known then that he'd challenged the wrong woman…or was she the right one? His heart warned him not to go there, yet.

Finally she returned to the main room. "Your fridge is practically bare. What's the problem, detective? You don't know how to cook?"

"Of course, I can cook."

"Yeah, right." She bit her bottom lip. Her shoulders shook as if she rocked with laughter.

Of all the nerve! "I'm a good cook."

"Talk is cheap." She sat on his favorite chair, the one with the good view, and she crossed one gorgeous leg over the other.

Instantly, he was reminded of the satin softness of her skin and the slender curves of her ankles. His manhood stirred with purpose. He headed for the bathroom in a desperate hope to cool the igniting fire within.

"Oh, great!" she called, not bothering to mask her amusement. "Run off."

"I'm getting my stuff," he yelled back. "That's why we came. Not for you to raid my fridge and insult my culinary skills."

With shaking hands, he turned the faucet. Cold water flowed into the palms of his hands. He splashed his face and counted to ten. Once he had himself together, he packed the barest essentials and returned to his waiting charge. As luck would have it, her eyes continued to dance, shooting his equilibrium to hell.

"What?"

"_You_ have culinary skills?"

He rolled his eyes. "Are you back on that? Look, I can prove it."

She stood and joined him at the door. "Oh, yeah? When?"

"Tonight." _A dare?_ Did she think he'd pass one up? "At your place."

"You don't know what I have in the fridge," she said.

"Probably nothing, but I bet there's a bunch of take-out magnets _on_ the fridge. We're stopping at the market. Do you have any other errands you need to run?"

She shook her head.

"Okay, let's go."


	12. Fear 12

Part 12

__

Deep inhale.

The delicious aroma of shrimp and sausage consumed the house. The sweet scent of onions and the unmistakable flavor of garlic joined in. Assorted herbs, spices and veggies completed the medley.

__

Mmm… Evangeline closed her eyes and sighed in anticipation. Overflowing file folders and a laptop waiting for her next command were ignored. Her mouth watered. Her stomach rumbled. And the rest of her just plain _wanted_.

Tingles zipped up her spine. Goosebumps cropped over her exposed arms and legs. Her sixth sense kicked in. The solitary pleasure of having someone cook for her was no longer a lone experience. She felt John's gaze and wasn't surprised to open her eyes and see him standing in the doorway to the living room, watching her.

"It smells good," she conceded. "So far, I'm impressed."

"Well, that's what I live for." Hunger smoldered in his eyes as he released a husky chuckle. "The dinner's on the table. I hope you like gumbo."

__

Gumbo? Eagerness and greed propelled her from the sofa. He stepped aside to follow her into the dining room. A picturesque setting paralyzed her. Vanilla scented candles she'd long forgot she owned flickered on the mahogany table. China inherited from her paternal grandmother lay on the table. Silverware. Linen napkins. Wine glasses, even. John raided her kitchen while she was completely unaware. She glanced over her shoulder at him.

He dipped his head. A brief smile touched his lips. He placed his hand at the small of her back. "Come on. It's getting cold."

/

"Where on earth did you learn to cook like that?" She cupped the glass of sparkling apple cider between her palms as she stared at John in amazement. "I stand corrected. You _do_ have skills."

"Yeah," he said, raising his glass to his lips, "and not just in the kitchen."

The spicy flavor of his meal had nothing on the heat that instantly flared inside her. She shivered from its intensity. How in the world would she survive him invading her home? Already, he knew far too much about her. The quirks and walls that protected her from disgracing her father slipped in this man's presence. He made her want things that she had no business even speculating about.

"Are you ready for dessert?"

Her mouth dropped open. "You mean there's more?" She patted her full, flat stomach. "Nothing else will fit. Give me a couple of hours."

"I'm full, too." He stood and began to clear the dishes.

She reached out and touched his wrist. "Stop. You cooked. I'll do clean up."

"You haven't seen what I did to your kitchen." He laughed as she hopped from the chair. "We can straighten up together if you want."

After taking a look at the war zone that had once been her stainless steel, spotless kitchen, she agreed. They cleared the table and took the dishes to the kitchen. Working as a team, they scraped, rinsed and loaded the dishwasher. John washed the heavier pots and Evangeline dried. The ease of the partnership was comforting. Sexual tension permeated every glance and accidental touch. Yet despite that, they worked well together. At this point she shouldn't have been surprised, but she was.

"Do you cook like this often?"

"It's not worth it when you're cooking for one," he answered. "Caitlin and I cooked together. She had her specialties and I had mine."

His words triggered her curiosity. She wrung the dishtowel between her hands as she quietly said, "Caitlin sounded very special."

"She was." He drained the sink. A spray of water removed any residue. Once he was done, he took the towel from her and dried his hands.

Evangeline realized that his movements were natural, as if he hadn't a care in the world. During tense moments, he reacted quickly and with a purpose. But now, John seemed subdued and content. She wondered what brought him and his deceased fiancée together and how it felt to want to spend the rest of his life with her.

Propriety prevented her from voicing her thoughts. His personal life wasn't for her to question. He kept things close to his vest. She had no business even wondering about it.

"What is it?" He caught her wrist as she stepped away. "You were here and then you weren't."

She shrugged. His warm fingers scorched her flesh in such a light grip. She swallowed hard. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

She glanced at their joined hands. Neither had moved away. The touch came as effortlessly as the rest of the evening. Why was it so hard for her to understand?

"Evangeline?" he prompted. His fingers lightly stroked the inside of her wrist.

"I…um…" _Geez_, it was hard to think with him touching her, but she refused to move away. He felt too damn good. "It was about love. What does being in love feel like? How do you know?"

"What?" He squeezed her hand once before he released her. "Of course, you've been in love."

Taken aback, she frowned. "Why would you say that?"

"I didn't…" He paused for a moment to stare. "I didn't mean to offend you. I just thought you had been. You're a beautiful woman. Smart. Confident. Intriguing. I can't believe… I mean, you and RJ were…"

"We were acquaintances who tried too hard to make it into something more." She moved to the kitchen table and sat. Her fingers played with the Pillsbury Doughboy salt and pepper shaker figurines. "Maybe he and I didn't try hard enough. But make no mistake, whatever that was…it wasn't about love."

He grabbed the chair on the other side of the table, turned it around and sat on it backwards. He folded his arms across the back and rested his chin on his forearm. "I still can't believe…you've never been in love."

"Well, believe it. It's true."

"And you want to know what it feels like," he stated.

Unable to speak, she simply nodded.

"It's like the best feeling you can imagine and the worst all rolled into one. But the good far outweighs the bad." He leaned forward, staring into her eyes. "You want to be with that person so much it's almost painful. You can't wait to see her again. Hear her laugh. See her smile. Hold her. Touch her. You want that person more than you've ever wanted anything else in your life, and you want to be the best man who ever lived. In fact, you strive for it with everything you have."

Her breath caught in her lungs. "Oh."

"Are you sure--"

The front buzzer interrupted John. The noise startled them. She looked at the clock on her microwave. It was well after nine.

"Are you expecting someone?" He stood, removed his gun from its holster and headed through the dining room to the living room.

"No," she said. She wrapped her arms around her waist. John's relaxed demeanor evaporated. He was all cop. Fear of the present situation returned. "Usually a messenger calls ahead. I don't know who it could be."

"Maybe RJ." John looked through the curtains.

"He and I are over."

"Never mind," he said. "I see a delivery car. I can't make out the words but I see flowers and balloons on the van. Let me handle it. Grab your cell and keys. Wait in the kitchen."

On wooden legs, she obeyed his orders and stalked to the kitchen. Over the rapid pounding of her heart and the quiet hush of the running dishwasher, she listened as John answered the door. In what seemed like an eternity, he called for her to come out.

He stood alone in the living room with a little brown teddy bear in the palms of his hands. He jutted a chin toward her. "From a happy client. I hope you don't mind. I read the card."

"No," she mumbled, distracted and confused. "That's fine. Let me see it."

He handed her the card and the gift. She read the note several times before the sensation of safety finally sunk in. Then, she released a loud breath and sunk onto the closest chair. John rushed to her side. His hand closed over her shoulder.

"You're okay."

She covered his hand with hers and hugged the adorable teddy bear to her chest. "Yeah. Thank you."

They remained that way until her trembles subsided. By then, the dishwasher had stopped and the idea of work refused to be realized. But their conversation about love lingered in her mind and in her heart.


	13. Fear 13

Part 13

Evangeline's adorable chuckle… The twinkle in her eyes when she smiled… The sexy way she flipped her hair… John released a low groan. Getting the woman out of his mind proved impossible. He glanced at his watch, anticipating the five o'clock hour when he'd pick her up and take her home.

__

Home.

His mouth became dry. His throat constricted. He hadn't thought of anyplace being home in years. Almost six years to be exact. Not since Caitlin died.

He rubbed his hand over his face. Cobwebs covered his brain, muddled his thinking. Evangeline's house was _her_ home. Not his. Staying there was a part of the job. He hired on to protect and to serve. That's what he did every night. Feeding his growing need to bask in her presence was an unintentional benefit.

He laughed out loud. _Bask in her presence?_ _God, how corny was that?_

Of course, he couldn't deny it. She broke through the glacier surrounding his heart. He fought hard not to turn into a messy puddle at her feet. He groaned. Was he a poet now? _Shit_.

He shook his head. Enough with the rationalizations. He liked Evangeline. He enjoyed her company. And protecting her off the clock wasn't a hardship. There! He admitted the hard truths. Now, he could focus on the Santi investigation and finding a way to get Carlos Rosa to talk.

/

"Antonio hasn't checked in. There's no clear link that the man in custody for following Evangeline is on the Santi payroll." He swatted hair from his eyes as he voiced his concerns to his Commander. "But I can't rule it out. He won't break, Bo, and I've tried everything."

Bo's frustration with the case came through loud and clear. "I want you to book the next flight to San Juan."

"I was thinking the same thing."

"Assign Hall to guard Evangeline. He's a good cop."

__

But not good as I am.

"John?" Bo prompted as dead silence hung in the air.

"I'm listening."

"Look, I'd go if I could, but this damn quarantine doesn't have an end in sight."

"I understand, Bo. It's no problem. I'll talk to Hall and book my flight."

Dread hit John full in the gut as he hung up the phone. Edwin Hall was one of LPD's best, but leaving him to guard Evangeline? That idea didn't take inside John's head. Yet, he couldn't renege on his duty as an officer of the law. There was really only one thing he could do.

/

"Hi, there." Evangeline's face lit up with delight as he walked into her office. She glanced at her watch and laughed. "You're early."

"I know." He closed the door after him before moving to her desk. "Do you have any big plans for the next few hours…or days?"

"What?" She looked perplexed. "What are you talking about?"

"I…um…" Man, how did he say this? "I have to go to Puerto Rico. I don't know how long I'll be gone. Not more than a couple of days."

Her eyes widened. "Are you asking me to go with you?"

"Well, I _am_ protecting you. I can't do that while I'm in PR and you're in PA," he said.

She opened and closed her mouth several times. Then, she said, "Nothing weird has happened over the last few days. I'm sure I'll be okay."

"We can't be _sure_ of anything until the perp talks. I don't want you in danger." He moved to the window, unable to stand the uncertainty in her eyes. "Look, I can assign Officer Hall to you. He'll pick you up and guard you all night."

"That sounds like a lot of trouble."

"It's not." He shrugged and slowly turned around. "Arrangements can be made."

"What time is your flight? Do I have time to think about this?"

He nodded. "You have two hours." He headed to the door. "I'm going to my place to pick up a few things. Call me when you make up your mind."

"Will do."

John left. He leaned briefly against her office door and wondered if her hesitation was a good thing. Maybe they needed some distance between them. This constant need for her threatened to undo him. If she opted to stay in Llanview, he wouldn't argue. With that decision made, he went home and packed for his trip.


	14. Fear 14

Part 14

"What do you mean she's going to San Juan with McBain?" RJ's grip on his cell phone tightened. "Where is she?"

"She's at the airport," Lopez answered. "Their flight is boarding in the next ten minutes. What do you want me to do?"

"Does she have the teddy bear with her?" RJ asked.

"Not that I can see. It could be in her bag. She has an overnight case." Lopez paused. "Man, I gotta tell you. They're pretty chummy. Maybe more so than when they're at her place."

"I know," RJ bit out. "Follow them. Do you need anything?"

"No. I'm good."

"Call me when you get there. I want to know everything."

/

With John off on police business, Evangeline indulged in the numerous comforts of the hotel suite. Spurting jets added to the temptation of the huge, sunken bathtub. Complimentary peach-scented bath wash bubbled in the running water. After securing her hair into a loose ponytail, she stuck her toe in to test the temperature.

Heat circled her flesh like John's hot, delicious mouth--

"What?" She pulled out and almost tottered into the porcelain pleasure pot. Her mind skyrocketed with questions. _Where had that thought come from? Why compare John and any of his body parts to a bath? Geez!_ She was on the verge of losing it if she didn't get a grip.

First and foremost, this wasn't a vacation. He had work to do and she brought hers with her. Second, her growing attraction to John wasn't necessarily a bad thing. He was everything she'd ever wanted in man. Funny. Smart. Compassionate. Gorgeous as hell. And boy, could he kiss!

Shivers tore up her spine at the thought. She pressed her fingers to her lips, remembering the taste and feel of his. A burning sensation ignited in her lower belly. She longed to experience his exploring, moist kisses again.

But that would be bad.

Despite all the time they spent together, neither broached the subject of their evolving relationship. They hid behind words. Banter replaced caresses. They swapped jokes instead of kisses. Deep heart-to-heart conversations were the only intimacies they allowed. But those talks only made things worse. The more she knew about John and shared with him, the more addicted she became to him and revealing herself to someone who didn't judge her.

A small ache formed at the base of her skull. The pads of her fingertips massaged the tiny throb. She glanced at the foam-filled tub. It would not be wasted. She found a relaxing station on the radio and stepped into the bath.

"Aah." The warm, scented water wrapped around her like a fuzzy, comfortable blanket. She rarely took the time to slow down and enjoy herself like this. Very stupid for a smart woman like herself. She released a small laugh. From this moment on, worry about her alleged stalker and concerns about her relationship with John were strictly forbidden. At least for the next hour, she planned to have nothing but fun.

/

He searched most of the island and consulted with the FBI. No one had seen or heard from Antonio. The news worried John. He agreed to his friend's undercover assignment on the condition that they'd stay in contact. If Antonio didn't show up soon, John planned to storm the Santi headquarters himself.

__

What about Evangeline?

He fingered the square keycard to their hotel suite. Resting his head against the door, he closed his eyes. Danger loomed through that door. He never expected them having to spend the night. Finding Antonio should have been easy. But Murphy's Law proved to be a winner. Here they were. Miles from home. Two strongly attracted adults whose want for each other was as tangible as Mt. Everest.

__

God, McBain, you should have prepared yourself for this.

Footsteps sounded a few doors away. The sound of laughter and conversation drifted down the hallway. He slowly opened his eyes and straightened his back. No reason to frighten the other guests by lurking in the hall. Besides, after losing control not once but twice, he had no intention of doing it a third time. _Although the idea certainly wasn't without merit_. The freedom he enjoyed in her arms released him from all his emotional baggage. Energy pulsed between them. It was like he and Evangeline just spontaneously combusted together. Neither had the power or the will to stop it.

__

No.

He was stronger than that. Pursuing a physical relationship wasn't fair to either of them. She deserved a man who wasn't afraid to love again.

/

Evangeline wrapped the thick, fluffy white terry cloth robe around her. The bath had been exactly what she needed. Warm and luxuriating, the temporary diversion soothed her frazzled nerves. She grabbed a bottle of lotion and padded into the main room. As she began to smooth the cream over her legs, the door opened.

Her entire body tingled as John gaped from the doorway. Her eyes followed his, watching him take in her state of undress and the display of her legs. An eternity later, he closed the door and emitted a strangled cough.

"Hi." His voice sounded huskier than usual.

"Hi yourself." She poured lotion into her hand and massaged the heel of one foot. The fragrance filled her senses, reminding her of fresh peaches on a warm summer day. She smiled without realizing it.

He slowly moved from the door. "I didn't mean to dis…disturb you. Should I leave?"

"It's not like I'm indecent," she said. "But if this robe makes you feel uncomfortable…"

"What?" He gave her a sudden cocky grin. "You'll take it off?"

"No." She couldn't help but laugh at his crestfallen expression. "I'll change into something less comfortable."

He rubbed the stubble on his chin. His eyes locked on hers. "Don't change on my account. You're perfect the way you are."

The blush started at her toes and continued to heat the rest of her body. "Thanks, Detective. I'll remember that."

He nodded and headed to the mini-fridge. "There's nothing good in here. Have you eaten?"

"No, I was kinda waiting for you." She capped the lotion and set it on the end table. "What happened? Did you find what you were looking for?"

"No. The locals are pretty close-mouthed and the local FBI had nothing to add."

She frowned. "What will you do?"

"Try again in the morning."

"So, we're staying over," she murmured mostly to herself. To him, she added, "What will you do tonight?"

He smiled. "Feed you, but I gotta warn you…going out like that will get us both arrested."

She laughed and headed for her room. "I'll change clothes."

"Thank you," he said. "Thank you _very_ much."


	15. Fear 15

Part 15

Waves crashed against the shoreline. A blanket of stars and a glowing quarter moon gleamed brightly in the night sky. Sea air tasted salty on John's tongue. He enjoyed the sensation and the company of the quiet woman strolling beside him. They'd locked hands soon after they discarded their shoes. John waited for Evangeline to pull away. Relief swept through him when she didn't.

During the few days he'd spent protecting her, they created a routine. He learned her habits, likes and dislikes. He suspected she knew the same of him. His sense of humor wasn't lost on her and her zingers brought tears of laughter to his eyes more than once. All in all, what brewed between them had grown comfortable. Too comfortable for John's peace of mind because he had no idea what he'd do once that comfort was gone.

"A nickel for your thoughts."

He glanced at her and frowned. "Just a nickel?"

"Are your thoughts worth more than that?" She swallowed a giggle. "The economy isn't what it used to be. I have to watch my spending."

"Oh, so I should be flattered that you were willing to pay as much as a nickel."

She elbowed his arm. "I can't get anything past you."

"Not much," he murmured. "My thoughts, huh?" He cocked his head to the side. "Where's the nickel? I know how lawyers operate. I want my money up front."

"What a suspicious mind," she teased. "I'm good for it. Now, out with it, or I'll demand a refund before you even say anything!"

"Okay, okay." He looked toward the rolling waves of the Atlantic Ocean. "I'm enjoying this and I'm not sure that I should."

"Perfectionists are allowed vacations."

"Oh, really?" They stopped. John pulled his shirt off and spread it on the sand for her to sit. After she was settled, he claimed a spot just inches from her thigh. "When was the last time you went on vacation?"

"Well… Um…" She crossed her ankles and hugged her knees to her chest. "My parents took me to Coney Island once. Does that count?"

He laughed. "No. You should relax more. Let your hair down." He shifted to his elbows. "Chill out."

"Do you?" She rested her cheek on her knees. "You've been on guard the entire time. I know this isn't a vacation. You're here on police business, but the clock isn't ticking now. We're on a beach in Puerto Rico! There's not one cloud in the sky and the night is magical. Relax, John. Enjoy the moment."

His breath lodged in his throat as he watched her mouth form the words. How he wanted to enjoy her. Kiss the saltwater from her lips. Indulge in his attraction to her. Lower the guards that protected his fears of repeating the past.

She reached out. Her knuckles brushed his stubble-covered jaw. A finger grazed his bottom lip. He shuddered and she gasped. He took her hand and kissed each fingertip.

"Oh, Evangeline…" He leaned forward to claim her mouth. Just one more taste to sustain him a lifetime. That's all he wanted. It was all he deserved.

Her lips parted. Without pausing to think, he deepened the kiss. His tongue traced the fullness of her bottom lip, suckling before diving in. Her hand closed around the back of his neck. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her round curves hard against his chest.

Murmurs of pleasure vibrated against their lips. His manhood stirred, clamoring for release. As the kiss ended, he pulled her onto his lap and buried his face in the curve of her neck. Her silky soft hair caressed his check. The smell of peaches consumed his senses. He shuddered, unable to release her.

She stroked his back in long, delicious strokes. "What are we so afraid of?" she asked, clinging to him.

"Pain," he said. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt."

"Is there a way to prevent it?" Her fingers dug into his shoulder. "Pretending hurts and if we continue to ignore… We're doing everything in reverse."

He needed to see her eyes. Reluctantly, he pulled away. "You should be courted. Hearts, flowers, chocolate…you should have all of that."

"So, what's stopping you?"

"What?" He took a deep breath. "Are you sure about this?"

"Who's sure about anything?" She looked toward the ocean for just a moment. "There's a big world out there. People search for years to find what we've easily acquired… It's too late to ask if we're sure. The better question is are we brave enough to take a chance?"

"I want to be."

She gave him the sweetest smile. "So, do I."

Instead of sealing the new development with a kiss, they embraced. As John felt their hearts pound in unison, he noticed movement beyond the sand dune. Without frightening her, he rushed them back to the hotel. After she was tucked safely inside, he went back out, but his search was an exercise in wasted effort. He decided to leave Antonio's whereabouts to his friends in the FBI. First thing the next morning, he and Evangeline returned home to Llanview.


	16. Fear 16

Part 16

RJ listened intently as Lopez relayed the latest. He had half a mind to end the hired hand's assignment. To hell with Evangeline and her damn cop! He didn't need her anyway. She was a fool to cheat on him with that stubble-faced, haggard looking bastard. What could John McBain and his many demons do for her that RJ couldn't? He'd bent over backwards to make their relationship work! And how did she repay him? Oh, yeah, by becoming the detective's whore.

"What's next, boss?" Lopez cut into his thoughts. "As I said, things became a little heated on the beach, but nothing happened. The cop almost made me. He didn't, though. He has his guard up. You should have seen his face when I delivered the bear. Is it doing everything you need? Do you want me to continue?"

"Yes," he said the word with such finality it sounded like a hiss. He punched in keys on his laptop. The program didn't respond fast enough. "Show me how to work this thing."

"Sure." Lopez sauntered behind RJ's desk. He lined up the cursor, double clicked and then a live feed into Evangeline's bedroom appeared on the fifteen-inch screen in vivid color. The eyes of the teddy bear caught several angles of the room. Lopez clicked a few more times, demonstrating the surveillance equipment's capabilities.

"What if I miss something?" RJ asked.

"It's recording, too." Lopez opened a folder. "Wanna see what they were up to this morning?"

RJ's chest constricted. He ground his back teeth. "Sure."

Lopez opened another window and double clicked a file marked with the day's date. "See how everything's stored in there? You can do some creative editing. If you need help with that feature just let me know. I've worked on a few…_films_…in my day."

RJ reached inside his wallet and pulled out several large bills. As he handed the cash to his temp employee, he said, "You're thorough if nothing else."

"I keep my eyes open, boss." He shrugged. "If I'm marketable, I get more jobs."

"Well, keep your days free," RJ said. "I'm not done with you, yet."

Hours later, he emerged from his office bleary-eyed and seeing red. The expensive stuffed animal proved its value. The tiny recording devices picked up every word and deed. Evangeline and the pig's growing affection for each other sickened RJ to the core. The easy manner they had was syrupy sweet with just enough honey to make a maggot gag.

He rubbed his eyes and wiped the sweat from his brow. So consumed by his personal torment, he didn't notice Lindsay until her arms wrapped around him.

"What are you doing?" He stood still within her surprise embrace.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," the spitfire blonde threw at him. She released her hold and folded her arms across her chest. "What's wrong with you?"

"With me?" He turned away from her unrelenting gaze and had his bartender pour him a shot of whiskey. "Nothing's wrong with me." He downed the glass, needing the burn that ripped his throat open. He pointed to the empty glass. "Another one."

"But not more than that." Lindsay positioned herself between RJ and the bar. "What is this? You look like shit. In fact, I've never seen you look so bad. Jack Daniels won't fix it."

"JD can fix a good many things and you very well know it."

"Not when you're in charge of my club--"

"It's not _your_ club," he interjected. He flicked the drink away, untouched. "What do you want?"

"Have lunch with me."

He looked over Capricorn's lunchtime crowd. "There's not a seat in the house and my office is a mess."

"You need to get out of here," she said. She crooked her arm through his and tugged him from the bar. Over her shoulder, she told the bartender to handle things until they came back.

RJ felt the fight leave him. He glanced down at Lindsay, noted the challenge in her eyes and decided to forfeit.

"Where are you taking me?" he asked as they hit the sidewalk. The blazing sun nearly blinded him. Figures the sun would shine on a day like this.

"A new place opened a few doors from Ultra Violet. Let's check out the competition. How is that with you?" she asked, but he knew she didn't care.

"Fine," he muttered. "What's this place called?"

She smiled, squeezing his arm. "Ray of Light."

"Oh, great. Just what I need."

/

John laughed as he slid into the booth beside Evangeline. "How do you find these places?" He held up the menu. "Ray of Light. What kind of food will they serve here? Will I even been able to eat this stuff?"

"Cut out all the griping." Chuckling, she swatted him with her menu. "Someone ordered takeout last week. It was pretty good. So here we are."

He cocked an eyebrow. Skeptical didn't begin to describe how his stomach felt. Over the last few days, she'd taken inventory of his eating habits and found him lacking in nutrition. Coffee morning, noon, and night didn't cut it in her book. He needed vegetables, whole grains and fruit.

__

Yeah, right.

He'd rather have her morning, noon and night. Food was just a source of fuel.

"Read the menu and stop giving me the evil eye!" Her brown eyes danced.

Her obvious delight stopped him cold. He simply stared, drinking in the delicious curve of her smile and sparkling eyes_._ Her carefree demeanor mesmerized him._ Wow, was this happiness? How it been that long?_ She was starving him but he'd gladly surrender a T-bone and potatoes for one of her smiles.

__

Damn, McBain, you're a goner man.

"There had better be meat on this menu," he playfully grumbled as flipped it open.

"If not, I know where I can get some."

The seductive innuendo didn't fall on deaf ears. He plucked the menu from her hands and possessed her mouth in a hard, fast kiss.

"Don't play with me, woman," he murmured as he reclaimed his menu.

"Who's playing?"

His eyebrows shot up as well as something else. His voice deepened to a husky growl. "We can leave right now if you're serious."

She grabbed her purse and stood. "What are you waiting for?"

John slammed his menu onto the table and unfolded himself from the booth. His hand latched onto hers and they practically ran from the restaurant.

Their rush came to an abrupt halt. RJ and his friend blocked the sidewalk.

"Lindsay," Gannon said, "you didn't warn me that the eatery has low standards for clientele."

"Let's just go inside." His companion seemed to have a vise grip on his arm as she tried to maneuver him around John and Evangeline.

John blocked Evangeline with his body. His eyes held RJ's as the other man went inside the restaurant. After the doors closed behind him and Lindsay, John felt Evangeline's sigh of relief pass from her body. He wrapped his arm around her waist and hugged her close.

"Thank you," she said.

"I wanted to, but I knew you didn't."

Their pace slowed from the earlier hurried rush. Instead of going to his car, they headed to the nearby park. The plans for an afternoon rendezvous no longer had top precedence.

"Are you sure he's not the one?" He brushed hair from her cheek as he searched her face for answers.

"I was, but right now…" She wore a haunted expression. "Did you see the look on his face? I thought he'd moved on. He and Lindsay would be much better than what he and I had. I don't understand why he's being so nasty."

"You're a wonderful woman, Evangeline." He sat close and hugged her to him. "Some men have a hard time letting go. We're no closer to finding out who followed you. I need to rule him out."

"Okay." She caressed his cheek. "Promise me you'll be careful."

He gave her a smile he didn't really feel. "Pinky swear."


	17. Fear 17

Part 17

__

Be the best.

Plan ahead.

Don't underestimate anyone.

Expect the unexpected and counterattack.

Evangeline went through each of her father's words of advice and caution. He had a rule for every possible scenario. Her success was his ultimate goal. He didn't want her to repeat his mistakes. His daughter was smart enough to have it all.

__

Daddy, I don't know where I went wrong.

The freak meeting with RJ tilted Evangeline's world off its axis. Believing he had put their failed relationship behind him gave her a false sense of security. But the anger in his eyes told her that her beliefs were only wishful thinking.

__

Sloppy seconds weren't his style.

She stood at the window of her office. The view of Llanview was quite impressive from One Buchanan Plaza. Hers wasn't the corner office, but being an associate, she still had a view. She squeezed her arms around her waist, but the movement wasn't enough to hold her emotions deep inside, unchecked.

"So stupid," she muttered under her breath. And if John's investigation of RJ proved her wrong, she'd be an utter fool.

What in the world possessed her to engage in a relationship with RJ Gannon? Was it because he stood for everything her father was against? Was she rebelling now at this late stage?

It wasn't like she hadn't been warned. His reputation preceded him. And he certainly didn't try to hide his views. He opposed the truths she believed in. Why the hell did she ever allow him into her bed?

__

Geez, girl, what were you thinking?

Her cell phone buzzed at her hip. She unclipped the tiny phone and answered, "Yes."

"What's wrong?"

Despite the dark places her mind had traveled, the sound of John's voice still brought a smile to her face. She sighed. "Nothing. What's up?"

"I have to work late tonight so I'll pick you up in a few minutes if that's okay."

She glanced at her watch. It was a little after five. She had met with a potential new client that morning and hadn't finished reviewing his files. "Actually, I have a little more work to do here. I can wait for you or someone else can escort me home."

"You don't mind?" His tone softened, as if he sensed her edginess.

"It's fine, John. You have a job and so do I. I'll be okay."

Silence hummed a dull roar on the line. Then, he asked, "Are you sure you're okay? You sound...tense. I can come over now."

"I appreciate that, but there's nothing you can do and it's nothing you've done," she said. She went to her desk and began sorting through her new client's paperwork. "It's head stuff."

"Okay. Officer Hall will pick you up in an hour."

"Thanks. I'll see you later…tonight, right?"

"Of course. Call me if you need me."

"Pinky swear."

/

"Thanks," Evangeline said after Officer Hall made sure her home was safe. She saw him to the door. "Anytime you need a break or something feel free to ring the bell."

Young officer nodded. "Yes, ma'am. I'll do random perimeter checks, so don't become alarmed if you see a shadow in your backyard. It will be me."

She closed and locked the door after him. Looking through the front window, she watched him cut around her house. He seemed efficient and very serious. John said Edwin came from a family of cops and that his great uncle Ed Hall had been a major force at LPD. The older man retired to Florida but came to visit on occasion. John promised that if she played her cards right he'd make an introduction.

After awhile, she left the window and wandered into the kitchen. She hated to admit it, but her home felt less welcoming without John. He filled up the four walls without much effort. They talked about cases and discussed their childhood. And then, there were the passionate escapades. She hoped his late night wouldn't last too long. She missed having him there.

A peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich didn't quite compare to one of John's dinners, but the food did the trick. She made quick work of cleaning the kitchen and settled down to review notes for a hearing. Just as she became deeply engrossed, the telephone rang.

"Hello."

"Hey, cuz! What's up?" asked a very happy feminine voice on the other end.

"Not much," Evangeline said with a smile. "Long time no hear, Miz Keesha Ward. You move to Pine Valley and forget all about the rest of us."

"That's not true." Keesha's laughter mirrored her merry tone. "I've been busy with adjusting to my new job and…"

"And your new man," Evangeline finished for her. "Faith told me all about him. Ryan Lavery. Getting busy with the boss. Tsk, tsk, tsk."

"No! It's not like that."

Evangeline put aside her work, tucked her legs underneath her and sunk into the sofa cushions. "Tell me what it's like."

"Well, I don't know. One day we're working to make a deadline and the next, we're trying to deny our mutual attraction. He's really unlike any man I've ever known. He has a really good heart and it sucked me in."

Evangeline nodded. She recognized the situation. The same happened with her and John. "So, you're really digging this guy."

"In a big way," Keesha confided. "Which is why I'm calling."

"Oh, my God! You want me to be a bridesmaid! Keesha, I'm all for love at first sight, but this is too soon for a lifetime commitment."

"Wow, how you jump to conclusions! I'm calling for a favor. I want to borrow Grandma Alice's pearl necklace. Ryan invited me to go with him to one of those ritzy parties. Faith designed an amazing gown. The earrings Grandma Alice left me go perfectly with the dress and so would the necklace, but she left that to you. Would you mind? I promise to hand deliver them to you personally as soon as the party ends."

"Keesha, please. I hardly ever wear them. I've been saving the pearls for a special occasion. I'll FedEx the necklace to you first thing in the morning."

"Thanks!"

The two cousins quickly caught up on the latest family gossip. Their mothers were sisters and like their mothers, they had plenty to discuss. Then, Keesha asked, "So how's your love life?"

Evangeline swallowed a delightful giggle. "Why do you ask?"

"I can hear it your voice. What's his name? What does he do?"

Just then, she realized despite their many conversations, she'd never once mentioned RJ to Keesha. Her family had no idea that he even existed in her life, yet she was already to gush about John. Very telling.

"His name is John. He's a cop and that's all I'm gonna say."

"Okay," Keesha said. "I can respect that. I hate to do this, but Ryan is knocking at the door. We're having a late supper. When I return the necklace, I want to hear all about John and if it's possible, I want to meet him."

"Keesha…"

"I'm not like Justus. I'll be nice," her cousin promised. "Love you, Vangie. Talk to you later. And thanks!"

"No problem. Bye."

A whirlwind. That was Keesha Ward in a nutshell. Hearing her cousin's happiness made her reconsider her earlier despondency. Sitting around berating herself wouldn't solve a damn thing. She never allowed herself any mistakes, but maybe that was wrong. Well, she wouldn't know for sure until John checked RJ out. In the meantime, she'd better get those pearls.

/

"John!" Standing in the middle of her bedroom, Evangeline clutched the phone and tried not to scream. "Someone's been here."

"What? Been where? Where are you? Where's Hall?"

Her heart raced so quickly she could barely speak. "I'm at home. He's outside. I didn't think to call him. I just grabbed the phone and called you. I didn't know what else to do."

"I'm on my way--"

"Don't hang up!"

"Angel, I'm right here," he said, his tone coaxing. "Are you alone?"

"Yes, Hall checked out the house before he left me alone."

"Tell me what happened. How do you know someone was there?"

"My things have been moved. I was looking for some jewelry for my cousin when I noticed the changes." She stared at the bookshelf. If Keesha hadn't called, she never would have seen the difference. "It's not obvious, but my things have been rearranged. A stranger has been in my bedroom, John!"

He muttered a powerful expletive. Then, he said, "I want you to go into the living room and wait. I'll be there in less than five minutes. And Evangeline?"

"Yeah?" Tears clung to her eyelashes. In her hand, she clutched her grandmother's necklace. Inside, she was a bundle of nerves. She just wanted him home.

"I will catch the bastard who did this."

She leaned against the wall adjacent to the front door. Staring through the curtains, she waited for his arrival. "I know. Just hurry home."

"I'm almost there."


	18. Fear 18

Part 18

The Mustang's power failed to get John home fast enough. The flashing lights on his dashboard helped. Traffic parted and gave him a clear path down the road. Still, he didn't get there fast enough.

The powerful sports car screeched to halt on the sidewalk. Hall jumped from the squad car just as John made a mad dash to Evangeline's front door.

"I've been here the entire time," Hall said as he and John reached the porch. "I don't understand. What happened?"

"Someone broke in," John said. Then, the door opened and Evangeline was in his arms. He didn't know who moved first. All that mattered was holding her close and reassuring both of them that she was safe.

Still holding her tight, he guided her inside the house. He heard Hall follow them and close the door.

"Ms. Williamson, what happened? I didn't see anyone come in. I've checked the entire grounds more than once."

She slowly pulled away from John's embrace. He watched in admiration as she visibly pulled herself together. She graced the officer a faint smile. "It happened before we got here. I didn't notice it until after you went outside. Don't blame yourself. You've done a great job."

"Yes, ma'am." Hall looked at John. "What do you want me to do? I can radio for the crime scene unit."

"Go ahead and call them, but tell them to wait outside until they hear from me. You can wait for them out there, too."

"Yes, sir." The young officer quickly made his exit.

Evangeline touched John's arm. "Don't take it out on him. It's not his fault."

A cold knot formed in his stomach when he answered Evangeline's call. Stark terror filled her voice. Her fear reached out and terrified him. There he was miles away working on the Santi case and the woman he lo--_cared_ about was shaking in fright. He didn't blame Edwin Hall for what happened, but he expected the officer to be thorough.

Instead of voicing his thoughts, he took her hand. "Show me."

Their fingers laced together automatically. Sensing her apprehension, John led the way into her bedroom. He glanced around the room and frowned. "Did you straighten up?"

"No, I left it alone." She headed to the bookshelf near the window. "See, that's why I said you shouldn't blame Officer Hall. I was here for hours before I noticed it. In fact, I wouldn't have if Keesha hadn't called--"

"Keesha? Keesha who?" John flipped out his notepad and jotted the name.

"Keesha Ward is my cousin." Evangeline waved her hand at his pad. "You can put that away. She's not a suspect. Keesha called about a necklace she wants to borrow. After we hung up, I came in here to get it and that's when I noticed that my books had been rearranged."

"Books? A necklace. I don't follow."

"I…um, I have a strange way of hiding my special pieces of jewelry. I hollow out old books and that's where I keep my grandmother's pearl necklace. Anyway, the books are out of order. I don't keep them in alphabetical order and now they are. That's how I knew. Someone's been here."

"Who else knows about your unique method?"

She frowned. "No one. I saw a special on a news program years ago. I never told a soul. I just did it."

He squatted in front of the shelf. His eyes scanned the rows of books. If he were a burglar, he'd never suspect her system. "Is anything missing?"

"I haven't really checked. I began frantic and searched for the pearls, which I found. Then, I called you. Just knowing that someone was here… I couldn't think straight." She rubbed his shoulder. "John, I'm sorry about that phone call. I lost it and I'm not usually that…um that unhinged--"

"Ssh." He stood and pressed his fingers against her soft, full lips. "You had every right to be upset. I'm sorry I wasn't here. I should have been. So no more apologies. I don't want to hear them." He glanced at his watch. "CSU should be here by now. I want to know if anything's missing, but I'd rather you didn't touch anything."

"Okay."

"They'll dust for prints and take pictures. Things could get a little messy. We don't have to stay here tonight if you don't want to."

Her angelic face hardened with determination. "I will not be driven from my home."

"Tough broad." He forced himself to smile.

"And proud of it." Her lips curved into an adorable gesture of pride. "After CSU finishes, you'll help me clean up."

"Oh, okay." He trailed a finger along her cheek. His voice lowered. "And then what?"

"Not so fast, Detective."

The doorbell rang. He caught her wrist as she moved to answer it.

"Are you sure you're not upset? You don't have to pretend." He forced flashes of Caitlin's tragic death from his mind. On the beaches of San Juan, he decided to put the past behind him. He couldn't save Caitlin, but he would be damned if he lost Evangeline.

"I'm not pretending." She gently cupped his cheek. "I was okay the moment you walked through that door. Let's get CSU in here so they can do their work."


	19. Fear 19

Part 19

"Wow, I never knew what a pain clean up could be." John finished wiping off the shelf and replaced the pile of books near his knee. "All the investigations where Forensics came in after me, I never thought about the mess we left. This sucks."

Evangeline's mouth curved into her trademark smile. "You never consider the havoc you leave behind."

"What?" He chuckled. "Are you accusing me and others in my profession of wrecking havoc? I have you know we're the Calvary who come in to save the day--" Suddenly, the humor vanished. "Unless we don't make it there in time."

"John, we strive to be winners, but even we can't win them all."

He dropped the dust cloth and roughly grasped her upper arms. "I've lost before, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I hate knowing that someone invaded your home. That wasn't supposed to happen."

"It did." She closed her hands over his. "It happened and we're dealing with it. Whoever did this wanted to get my attention. Well, they have it. We'll catch them. I don't doubt that. We're too stubborn to fail."

The fierce determination in her liquid brown eyes illuminated the darkest depths of his soul. There were places he closed off after Caitlin's death. When he and Natalie tried to grow closer, he never once considered opening his entire soul to her. There were hidden areas he didn't want anyone to know or to pursue. But with Evangeline, she seemed to cross his barriers without either of them realizing it. He blinked and there she was. Inside him.

He stood and gathered her into his arms. Her delicious sweet scent filled his senses. He closed his eyes and allowed his hands to roam, memorizing every glorious curve and firm muscle. She moaned. Her fingers dug into his back. A shudder coursed through him from his head to his toes.

A thousand questions flashed through his mind, but the most important one remained constant and frighteningly loud. Were they ready for this? Every day took them further from the deal they made on the San Juan beach. Each time their gazes connected, he knew she understood him far better than anyone ever had. Even with all the passion, conversation and laughs, neither voiced the obvious. He knew what his fears were, but he wondered if she understood hers.

His hands stroked up her side to hold her face. He studied her striking features. The slim angle of her nose. Her round, luminous brown eyes. The sensuous fullness of her mouth. The smooth mocha skin tone. Every feature that comprised Evangeline Williamson was etched in his mind in that moment.

Then, he took her mouth with savage intensity. Their tongues collided, demanding and probing. His manhood throbbed. He pushed his thigh between hers as one hand dropped to her backside. Her thigh grazed his erection. A slight tremor shook her body and rippled through him. He lifted her and carried her to the bed.

She unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off his shoulders. The tank top followed. John reclined against the pillows, watching and enjoying her feverish concentration. Finally, she had him the way she wanted. Naked and hard as stone.

Groans escaped him as she manipulated his manhood. Stroking and squeezing. Teasing him with her expert massage. His pelvis rose and fell in an increasing tempo. But this wasn't how he wanted it. When he met release, he needed to feel her velvet warmth surrounding him.

He closed his hand around her wrist. Her eyes flew to his. A wicked smile played at her mouth. He grinned in response. "Strip. Now."

She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. "If that's what you want…"

"It is." He reached out to release the top button of her shirt and dropped his hand. "You do the rest."

She needed no further encouragement or instruction. With the grace of a ballerina, her hips swayed in time to the pounding of his heart. Her body moved and her clothes disappeared. The erotic performance uncovered another layer of the passionate woman within. When she stood completely bare before him, he took her hand.

Flat on his back, John pulled her on top. He filled her with one powerful thrust. They moved in unison. Flesh against flesh. Man to woman. Woman to man.

His hands slid across her thighs to rest at the small of her back. A faint sheen of perspiration cooled the palms of his hands. He drew her down. The hardened peaks of her breasts begged for his attention. Open mouthed, he devoured her.

And she devoured him. With her hands and mouth, she possessed him. Her fingertips traced his tattoos and her tongue filled in the colors. He rolled her onto her back. Her thighs gripped his waist and he lost all thought as primal instinct took over. A feral cry escaped from him as release came for them both. In stunned fascination, he watched tears gather in the corner of her eyes.

He fell onto the bed beside her. One arm wrapped around her as he used the other hand to brush the teardrops from her cheek. Maybe she understood after all.


	20. Fear 20

Part 20

__

Oh, boy.

Evangeline sat on the window seat and stared sightlessly into the night. A few feet away, John lay asleep in her large, frilly bed. The small adorable bear sat on the nightstand just inches from his hand. Despite the ruffles covering him and the cute stuffed animal nearby, John McBain never seemed neither more male nor more dangerous.

His skill as a lover was evident the first time they made love in the basement. But it wasn't his expertise that caused her to lose control. Wow, how she lost control…

She frowned in concentration as she replayed every moment spent in his arms. Not once had she ever been in control! Something strange happened every time they touched. Coherent thought vanished. Her mind completely shut down. Something deep inside, emotions that had been dormant seized command. _How? Why?_

After her parents divorced, Evangeline tried not to take sides. She loved them both. Yet, she couldn't deny that she and her father shared a special connection. He challenged her, and she yearned to please him. Over the years and without realizing it, she lost touch with her mother. Oh, they were never unpleasant to each other. But it wasn't the typical mother-daughter thing. And right then, she realized just how desperately she needed that. She craved the knowledge that only a mother could impart to her daughter. The truth about love.

"Angel?" John's voice was husky with sleep. The sheets rustled as he sat up. "Why are you way over there?"

"I didn't want to disturb you." She rose and moved onto the bed.

He toyed with the strap of her nightgown. "You're all dressed up."

"I told you the A/C is crazy. I got cold."

He eased onto his back and opened his arms. "Let me warm you."

His body burned like an inferno. She hugged him, resting her head on his chest and draping her arm around his waist. Lethal, he was. And powerful, too. She hadn't foreseen what a potent role he'd play in her life. If she had…

"We shouldn't have stayed here tonight," he said softly. "Knowing that someone invaded your bedroom…you can't sleep here."

"I slept for a little while. My mind is always going with cases. Some nights, I sleep off and on."

He brushed hair from her face. "Not since I've been here. You've slept all night long. You wanna try again?"

"Nope."

"That's your excuse and you're sticking to it. Is that it, Counselor?"

"In a nutshell," she said. She couldn't verbalize what she couldn't comprehend. At least not yet.

"So, we're awake." He glanced at her bedside clock. The numbers glowed in the dimly lit room. "It's the other side of midnight. Are you hungry?"

She laughed. "No. Are you?"

His rich, sexy chuckle mingled with hers. "Not exactly."

"You don't have to entertain me. I know you're tired. Go back to sleep."

"I'm a red-blooded man. There's no way I can sleep with a beautiful woman, lying wide awake beside me."

He reached out to turn on the lamp and knocked over the teddy bear in the process. "Sorry."

He rolled onto his side and then mumbled, "What the hell?"

"What is it?"

John left the bed in one fluid motion. When he stood, he held the bear in one hand. His eyes blazed with fury as he stared at it. Her stomach knotted with unease. She slid across the bed to join him. Her hand closed around his arm.

"John?"

His mouth thinned into a grim line. He inhaled deep breaths through his nose. "It's a camera."

"No." She almost held out her hand to take it, but she changed her mind. "No, it can't be."

"They come in all sizes. It's like a nanny-cam, but there aren't any babies here." He opened the nightstand drawer, threw the toy inside and slammed the drawer shut. "We're being watched, Evangeline."

"Our private moments were recorded?" Bile rose to her throat. She pressed her hand to her mouth and swallowed. She wouldn't succumb to disgust.

John nodded. "That sick sonuvabitch has been eyeing you all this time. He's crossed the line. I won't let him get away with it."


	21. Fear 21

Part 21

John called his contacts at the FBI. By lunch, they notified John of the manufacturer of the teddy bear nanny-cam and the sellers in the Llanview area. He thanked his former coworkers for the information and ended the call.

His blood boiled all morning. The idea that anyone would sink as low to videotape Evangeline's intimate moments--

__

Shit!

He pushed from his chair and snatched his notes from his desk. There was no doubt RJ Gannon was the sick sonovabitch in question. But going off half-cocked and without proof would only level the playing field in the bastard's favor. When John got him--and he would--the collar would be clean. Of course, if Gannon resisted arrest along the way and John had to use force to bring him in… Well, there were perks to law enforcement that couldn't be denied.

He reached for the doorknob just as the door opened. Evangeline stood there. Wide-eyed and staring.

"I know," she began as she brushed past him. "I said I'd stay at work, but I couldn't. I need to know. What did you find out? Did RJ put that…that thing…? Did he send me that teddy bear?"

He closed the door before answering. "I don't have proof that he sent it."

"But it was him, wasn't it?" She searched his eyes for the truth. "No one else cares that much about my personal life. My God! I've been so naïve. He played me and I fell for it. He won't get away with it."

She spun around to leave his office.

"Evangeline, wait." He caught her wrist. "Leave him alone."

She jerked free. "No! He _invaded_ my privacy."

John's jaw tightened. He rested his hands at his waist instead of pulling her into his arms the way he wanted to. "I know he did, but if you approach him now, you tip our hand."

"I refuse to believe he doesn't know we found that _doll_!" she spat. "The hand has been tipped."

"No, I don't think so." He pointed to a chair. "Have a seat. Would you like some coffee?"

Grudgingly, she sat on the edge of his desk, but she declined the offer of coffee. "Caffeine will only make it worse."

"Okay." He moved to stand in front of her. Their eyes locked. "I've had officers on Gannon all morning. If he goes anywhere, I'll know about it. I've talked to Bo who's spoken to the DA. We're working on a warrant to pull his phone records. I'll know who he's talked to and I'll connect that to whoever broke into your house and that damn camera. He won't get away with this and we'll get him by the book."

She looked away. "I don't want him gotten by the book. I want him to pay."

"So, do I." He cupped her chin, tilting her head so that their gazes connected again. "I hate what he's done and what it's doing to you."

"I've never had to face anything like this before. This vileness directed toward me. I don't understand it, John. I thought he cared about me, but I was nothing but a possession to him. I ignored the warning signs."

He stepped closer to her. Silky waves of dark brown hair brushed the backs of his hands as he cupped her face between both palms. "He didn't want you to see. He wanted to catch you off guard. Don't blame yourself for what he's done."

"I'll blame RJ," she said, matter of fact. Her hands closed around his wrists, holding his hands in place. "Thank you and don't you dare do anything to jeopardize your job. I don't want you behind bars again."

"You'll defend me." A smile played at his mouth. "Right."

"Of course, but I'd rather have you beside me than in a jail cell." She sighed. "I have a hearing at two. Will you let me know what you find out?"

"I will." Unable to resist a moment longer, he pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was brief, but it was effective in soothing him somewhat. "Let me take you to lunch."

"No, don't. You were on your way somewhere and I can't eat." She squeezed his hand as he walked her to the door. "I'll call you when I get out of court. Take care of yourself, John. I won't accept any compromises. At this point, I'm convinced RJ is capable of anything."

"I'm not worried, but he should be."

/

RJ's index finger hovered above the right section of the mouse. He hadn't looked at the cam's recording since Lopez showed him how the damn thing worked. Sinking to this depth struck a strange chord inside him. His gut clenched at the thought of watching Evangeline with that cop. RJ and she hadn't been intimate too many times and just knowing that she freely spread her legs for that pig--

He saw red.

A slow ache began at the back of his head and spread to the front. He grabbed aspirin from his desk and swallowed it dry. His hand returned to the mouse. What the hell? He might as well see what his money was paying for.

A knock sounded just as he moved the cursor into position.

"Yeah?"

"It's me, boss. Rex."

"What do you want?" RJ called. "I'm busy."

"It's kinda personal. Can I come in?"

"Shit," RJ muttered under his breath. He minimized the window on his computer screen and moved to unlock the door. "It's open," he called as he headed back to his desk.

Rex strolled into the room and closed the door. "Capricorn is under surveillance."

RJ shot from the chair. "What!"

Rex pointed behind him. "They're right out front and have been there all morning. I didn't think you knew about it. Man, what's going on?"

"I don't know, but I'll soon find out," he said through gritted teeth. He stormed from his office with Rex fast on his trail.

/

The hearing ended earlier than expected. Evangeline had a ton of work at the office, but she knew better than to attempt to focus on it. Getting through the hearing was bad enough. But her dad trained her to be a professional and she relied on his ingrained lectures to give the court appearance her all.

Someway, somehow she arrived at Capricorn. If John knew, he'd have a fit. So be it. She wasn't a dainty damsel who needed a man to fight her battles. Confronting RJ for this grievous sin was the only thing she could do.

She watched from a distance as he roared from the restaurant and toward a couple of squad cars. One of the officers left the vehicle and faced him down. As RJ pointed and shouted, the man in blue maintained a wall of calm. As she listened, her façade of serenity vanished. Her blood boiled into a blinding rage. She marched toward them without a second thought.

"RJ!"

He stopped mid yell to face her. "Well, Evangeline. What a surprise to see you here."

"Shut up and listen!"

His eyes widened. Then, he laughed.

"No!" She shoved a finger into his chest. "That won't work. Not this time."

He cocked an eyebrow as he glanced at her finger and then returned her stare. "You're touching me."

She jerked her hand away as if she'd been scalded. So vile. So disgusting. It took everything she had to keep her breakfast down while talking to him. What an awful, awful man!

"You have gone too far. I gave you the benefit of the doubt--"

"You gave me?" he interrupted. He narrowed his eyes and he stepped toward her. "I trusted you and how did you repay that trust? By rolling around with that pig! And that's why all the fuzz is out here. Because your McBain sent them here! Deny it. Go ahead. Lie to my face. Again."

"You want to talk about liars? Our relationship was over for a long time and you're lying to yourself if you deny it!

"I should have known better than to expect the truth from a cop's whore."

He moved to go past her. Without pausing to think, her fist shot out and connected with his jaw. The blow blindsided him, but just for a moment. Just as he reached out to grab her, John appeared from nowhere to tackle him to the ground.

Evangeline cradled her throbbing hand against her body as the two men's physical altercation escalated.

"You will never touch her!" John yelled, pulling RJ to his feet.

"She went after me." RJ tried to jerk free.

"And what?" John gripped RJ's collar. Only sheer force of will prevented John from putting RJ into a coma. "You're pleading self defense. Oh, that's rich." He looked over his shoulder at the waiting officers. "Did you guys see anything?"

None of them said a word.

"You have no witnesses, RJ. No one will back you up." He shoved RJ into the side of the patrol car. "Lock him up."

Evangeline stepped to John's side. "Don't, John."

He gently inspected her left hand as he shook his head. "It's already done. We'd better have someone look at this. Your hand is starting to swell."

"My hand is fine. I hit him first and I can't let you or LPD lie for me. Don't let them take him to jail for this."

John slowly released her hand. He stared into her eyes. A million questions went through his mind. "You're protecting him."

"No, I'm trying to do what's right."

He looked away.

"It's not what you're thinking," she said, moving to stand close to him.

"What am I thinking?" He lifted his head. Their eyes locked.

"That I care about what happens to him," she said. "I don't. I care about you and me. We've sworn to uphold the law. Doing this only makes us more like him." She touched his arm with her good hand. "I don't want either of us to be like him."

The touch of her hand rippled through him. A simple caress really shouldn't affect him this strongly. "What about what you said earlier?" he asked. "You were pretty adamant then."

"I was mad." She released a humorless laugh. "I still am, but the longer I stand here with him staring at me, knowing he's seen… I'm trying not to ruin your shoes. Please, let him go. We'll get him, but not like this."

John lost himself in her eyes for a moment longer. He spoke to his officers without turning around. "Let him go, but continue your surveillance. Your relief will arrive before your shift is over."

"Yes, sir," they responded.

He placed his hand at her waist, guided her to his car and took her to the hospital.


	22. Fear 22

Part 22

"Thanks for the necklace."

Evangeline noted the wary look in her cousin's eyes as Keesha glanced at Evangeline's bandaged hand and then back at the squad car at the curb. The tall man beside her seemed just as cautious.

The cousins hugged.

"You didn't have to drive the necklace back," Evangeline said. She pointed to her sofa as a silent invitation. "You must be Ryan Lavery. I'm Keesha's cousin."

"I was getting to it," Keesha said. "Evangeline meet Ryan. Ryan, this is my other attorney cousin, Evangeline Williamson."

She extended her left hand, which Ryan shook.

"It's nice to meet you," he said. "You've just as beautiful as Keesha told me. Obviously, beauty runs in the family."

Heat flooded Evangeline's cheeks. She pressed her uninjured hand to her chest. "Oh, my. Very smooth. I like that. How was your party?"

"Very interesting," Keesha said. "Zach Slater hosted a fundraiser. You'd be surprised by the attendees."

"Was it a who's who of who's who?" Evangeline settled on the adjacent love seat. She placed a pillow on her lap and rested her hand on top. Two days later and her hand still throbbed. No bones were broken, but that didn't lessen the pain.

"Basically," Keesha said. She jutted her chin at Evangeline's hand. "What happened?"

"A minor altercation."

"One of your cases has taken a dangerous turn?" Ryan asked. "We couldn't help but notice the police car outside. Are you in danger?"

"You should have said something," Keesha added. "Justus would help."

"It's not a case. It's personal and the police are handling it. Don't worry."

"You're hurt. I can't help but worry." Keesha stood and gently tugged on Evangeline's ponytail. "I can see you're tired. Ryan and I are staying at the Llanview Inn for a few days. I'll call you with our room number after we check-in."

Evangeline frowned. "You don't have to stay on my account. I'm fine. Really."

"Sure you are."

/

Silence filled the dining room. John made another delicious dinner, which Evangeline wanted to enjoy but was unable to consume. He seemed to be a quiet man by nature. She'd grown used to the companionable serenity of their days and nights together. Yet, tonight felt unusually so. She searched her mind for ways to shatter the weird mood into pieces.

"My cousin and her friend are staying at the Llanview Inn. She wants to meet you."

The corner of his mouth quirked into a half smile. "Does she."

Two words, she thought. That's a start. "Yeah. Is that a problem?"

"Not at all." He began stacking their plates and gathering the silverware. "When?"

"I don't know. She says they'll be here for a few days. I think the sooner the better." She stood and reached for their glasses.

He waved her hand away. "Leave it. I got it."

"You don't want me to help?"

He gave her injured hand a pointed look. "You don't have to. For once, let me handle it."

With a grand gesture, she released the glasses. "Okay, fine. Now, we're getting somewhere."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've been giving me the silent treatment. Now, I know why. You're upset that I confronted RJ."

"Someone give this lady a gold star," he said, his voice husky with sarcasm. "She nails it the first time."

"John, come on."

"No, Evangeline, you could have come away with more than a bandaged hand. He's not the man you thought you knew."

Her heart felt heavy. She closed her eyes and inhaled a ragged breath. "I know," she said in quiet voice. "You're not saying anything I haven't realized."

A loud sigh came from him. She heard the plates clatter on the table and then his footsteps come toward her. A moment later, she felt his heat surrounding her and his hand raking through her hair. The stubble of his beard grazed her forehead. His breath warmed her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that… Angel, the last thing I want is for you to get hurt, yet, here you are with a bandage on your hand. I don't have a savior complex. I know that there'll be hits and misses, but I can't… I've lost someone before and it was the hardest thing I ever had to face. I got through it, but it wasn't easy. Still, here I am on the other side of that kind of pain. And everyday, I'm realizing that you're the most important person in my life."

Her eyes fluttered open. Breathing came in ragged spurts. "John… I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything." He lightly brushed her lips with his. "It won't take long to clean up. Go relax." He kissed her again before disappearing into the kitchen.

She stared sightlessly at the swinging kitchen door. Eventually, her breathing returned to normal. Yet, her thoughts continued to spin.

__

Is John in love with me?

Another question whirled just as wildly inside her mind.

__

Am I in love with him?


	23. Fear 23

Part 23

"It's over." Antonio handed John a file folder. "All the dots have been connected in the Santi case."

John jutted his chin toward a chair as he flipped open the folder. Protecting Evangeline claimed top priority in his mind, but other cases beckoned. In the years after Caitlin's death, only the job mattered. Not so anymore. He glanced over Antonio's report and nodded.

"Well, done." He closed the folder and set it aside for further review. "Bo's pleased with your work. I am, too."

"Thanks." Antonio frowned. "Since my return to Llanview, I've heard some buzz about RJ Gannon. Is everything okay? If you need help handling him…"

John ran a hand over his beard. Keeping his emotions in check wasn't easy. At the mention of the man's name, he saw red. "First, what have you heard?"

The detective shrugged. "RJ hasn't taken your relationship with Evangeline well."

"My relationship?"

"Yeah," Antonio said softly. "Is that wrong?"

"Depends on who you ask," John mumbled. Louder, he added, "Anything else?"

"RJ fights dirty and he hasn't shown restraint in this. There's been a little talk about what happened at Capricorn the other day and something about a nanny-cam--"

"Shit." John pushed from his chair and headed to the coffeepot. "The words 'low key investigation' obviously have no meaning."

"There was nothing specific." Antonio joined John and accepted the cup that John poured for him. "Thanks. Listen, there's been more speculation than actual fact. If you need help, I'm here. I know him better than I want to and unfortunately, I know how his mind works."

The fax phone rang and then paper rolled out. John had been expecting a fax from the FBI all morning. They had narrowed down the frequency of the nanny cam. If his gut proved correct, the feed would point right back to RJ. Either at his home or one of his clubs.

He ripped the paper from the machine and searched for the information he needed.

"We'll talk later--"

"Don't leave," he instructed Antonio. Still reading, his mouth twisted into a satisfied smirk. "This is it. I've got him. All I need is a warrant." He folded the paper and put it inside his jacket pocket. "You up for taking a little ride? If he resists arrest, I want a good witness."

"Here I am."

The judge wasted no time in giving John the documents he needed to bust RJ. With the appropriate paperwork in hand, John stormed Capricorn. Antonio stood right beside him as he burst inside RJ's office.

"This is beyond harassment," RJ said from behind his desk. "I'll have your badge and yours, too, Antonio. I'll burn them into scrap metal, of course. But I'll have them."

"You'll have nothing," John said. His hands flexed at his sides. The need to rip Gannon's throat out burned inside him. He inhaled shallow breaths to keep his compulsion at bay. "Get up. You're under arrest."

RJ laughed, but he didn't move. "Sure, McDuff. You want to take a bite out of crime. Get the hell out of my office before I call my lawyer and have your badge and your pension."

"Sounds like he's resisting arrest," Antonio murmured.

John and his friend locked eyes. John's voice lowered to a deathly growl. "Yeah, I heard it, too."

/

Evangeline waited for Keesha at the hotel bar. The cousins had agreed to meet for drinks before they sat down to dinner with Ryan and John. Most of the day, Evangeline felt jumpy and out of sorts. The thought of love shook her up. How could she be sure this was it when she had no real idea what it was? John's answer was nice, but it wasn't comforting. In fact, his thoughts on the subject blew her mind. So much energy spent to one person, because of one person. Was she capable of giving that much back?

"Sorry, I'm late." Keesha gave her a quick hug then claimed the empty stool beside her. "Actually, I'm not sorry." She giggled. "Nope. Not sorry at all."

Evangeline playfully rolled her eyes. "Oh, spare me the details."

"I never kiss and tell." Then, Keesha's eyes widened. She pressed a hand to her mouth. "Oops!"

"Keesha!" Evangeline's laughter came from a good place inside her soul. Man, she missed this woman. "You're silly."

"It's all a part of falling in love with the right man."

The bartender chose that precise moment to interrupt. After he poured their drinks and left, Evangeline found the courage to resume their conversation where it left off. Her brow scrunched into a frown. "Love. That's what you and Ryan have?"

Her cousin nodded. Her mocha complexion glowed from within. Happiness painted Keesha's mouth with a permanent smile. "Definitely. It wasn't easy in the beginning. His past and my past were major obstacles. We had a lot of stuff to process."

"How did you do it?"

Keesha took a sip of white wine before answering. "Facing a future without him seemed worse than facing my past. I haven't had the best of luck when it's come to men. Jason…AJ… There were high moments with both, but the lows are what stayed with me. The truth is I was terrified of letting someone that close to me again. But I couldn't be in a room with Ryan without feeling _some_thing. He broke through the bullshit, cuz. In the end, I couldn't deny what I felt and quite honestly, I didn't want to."

She reached out and patted Evangeline's hand. "This isn't idle chit chat, is it? I haven't met John, but I have a feeling that he's important to you."

"Do I wear it like a bag over my head?" Evangeline sighed. "I don't know what's going on. I considered calling Mother, but that's territory I dread going in to."

"Talk to me," Keesha offered. "I don't bite. I'm not saying I'm an expert, but I recognized the signs over the phone and again yesterday. You're terrified of all this love stuff."

"I've never backed down from anything in my life." Evangeline gestured toward her recovering left hand. "I hit a guy. A left hook to his jaw. I'd do it again, too. But this thing with John… I _want_ to be with him. I think about him. All the time. He thrills me in ways I never imagined and I'm not just talking about sex. Being with him seems more than the physical anyway. Keesha, you're right. I am in fear of this…_thing_…I have with him. I have goals. Youngest partner at the firm. A corner office. These are things I want."

"Those are just things and they're easy for you," Keesha said with quiet compassion. "And they have a place. Hell, they've been your life purpose for as long as I can remember. But Evangeline, life has so much more to offer."

"I like my life the way it is."

"Are you sure about that?" Keesha asked. "Nothing in life is guaranteed. I learned that when I lost Granny Mae and Jason. I loved them with all my heart and I don't regret a minute I shared with them. You've never lost sight of your goals and that's admirable. But I don't want you to ever once look back and wonder what might have been if you'd pursued this."

Evangeline's throat constricted. Her voice sounded husky with unleashed emotion. "I'm _scared_, Keesha."

She smiled and shrugged. "Who isn't? Love can be a very good thing. Believe me, it's worth the hassle."


	24. Fear 24

Part 24

"I'm sorry I missed the dinner."

"It's fine. They're open to lunch tomorrow before they head back to Pine Valley."

"So, why the silence?"

"You should have called me the moment you arrested RJ!" Evangeline pushed John's bruised hand into a bowl of ice.

He started at the sudden cold and glanced at her handiwork on his other cuts and bruises. Pretty good. The antiseptic didn't hurt nearly as much when she applied it.

"I _wanted_ to be there." She fixed him with flashing brown eyes. "I had every _right_ to be there."

"You didn't _need_ to be there," he said quietly. "It wasn't a nice collar. He resisted arrest, and I had to get a firm hold on things. I wouldn't have been able to do that with you there."

"Resisted arrest, huh?" Her eyebrow arched with disbelief. "What does he look like?"

"Worse. His jaw is still swollen from when you clocked him." John's mouth tightened as he took stock of RJ's misdeeds. Beating the man's ass simply wasn't good enough. "He'll be fine in a few days."

"I hear he's under guard at the hospital."

John shrugged. "Just for observation. He'll be fine."

"Will you lose your shield for this?" She gently cupped his face, just missing the cut on his cheek.

His eyes held hers. "No, my job is intact. I had witnesses. Good witnesses. RJ put up a fight. I'm glad you weren't there to see that."

"What did he say about me?"

He clenched his jaw, remembering. _Whore. Slut. Liar. Cheat_. Then, he shook his head. He smiled at the tenderness she showed in tending his wounds. Her thoughtfulness and beauty inside and out warmed him and erased RJ's nastiness from his mind. "Nothing I can remember."

She nodded once and rose from the bed. Her gaze drifted toward the closet and then down at his boots and shirt that lay in a heap on the floor. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Now that he and his pal have been arrested, you don't need a bodyguard anymore. I can move my things and be on my way--"

"Don't you even think about it." She turned to face him. "I don't want you to go."

"You're inviting me to move in?"

A faint smile came to her lips. "Not exactly."

"Maybe we should talk about what exactly will happen now." He beckoned to her with his forefinger. Slowly, she came to him and joined him on the bed. "Since Puerto Rico, we've been playing it by ear. Not setting anything in stone, but enjoying the moment. I have enjoyed every moment spent with you, but… You don't want me to go. Does that mean you want me to stay?"

"I think so," she said, a troubled frown darkened her brow. "I've never been to where we are. My past relationships weren't based on deep emotions. I liked them and they liked me. But with you…Geez, I _am_ emotional. I don't know what that means. My first instinct is to run--"

"I don't buy that." With his uninjured hand, he brushed a fat curl from her cheek. "You never back down from a challenge. You're too bullheaded. Too stubborn."

"What do you want then?"

"Me?" His eyebrows rose. "Are you sure you're ready to hear my answer?"

She only hesitated a moment. "Yeah. I need to know."

"I've wanted to have this conversation, but I didn't think we would," he answered honestly. "After I processed RJ's arrest and typed my report for the charges against him, I realized that this was it. You'd send me on my way and we'd occasionally meet in passing. At a restaurant or in court. We'd pretend that the last few weeks never happened and my life would be empty because of it. Well, that's what I saw as the future."

"And then?"

"I walked through your front door. The look on your face as you counted my bruises and then glared at me… Then, I knew I wouldn't sit back and pretend I don't care about you. Dammit. Pretend that I'm not in love with you."

Her sharp intake of breath didn't surprise him.

He caressed her cheek. "Having been there before, I knew the signs. And I knew you weren't ready to hear it."

"Do you think I'm ready now?"

"No." He laughed and she did, too. "Yeah, actually, I think you're more ready than you realize."

"This emotion--_love_--is not rational," she said.

He shook his head. "No."

"Or logical or sane."

"Right, Counselor, on all of the above."

"But it's nothing to be scared of either," she said, staring into his eyes for the truth. "I can say that I love you, too and not be terrified. Right?"

His heart pounded his chest. He willed himself to breathe. "Right, Angel. You have nothing to fear. We're no cowards. We can face this love thing together."

"Good. That's settled." Joy radiated in her eyes. "Now, will you just shut up and kiss me?"

"Happy to oblige, ma'am."

THE END


End file.
